Word in my ears

I'm so happy I can't contain it!

The 100-MCQ exam I had last Tuesday was seriously difficult--on most questions I could tell that A and D are wrong, but between B, C, and E, which one was the correct answer? From question to question, it was just really, really hard.

Then it was hermit mode for me again, until this afternoon's paper.

Ever met a little kid so happy after an exam? Well, I'm like that now.

The 2-hour written exam had various kinds of stuff in it: Epidemiology, Statistics and Critical Appraisal. I learned from previous exams that I can't waste time at all. 1 mark means 1 minute. Quicker=better.

And all along, I was writing almost at the speed of thought. My mind flowed like a river. Like my ears were hearing a word behind me saying: "This is the way." Must have been the Helper's voice.

YEAH! None of the questions could stop me! None! Why, because I'm smart? No, it's because I'm prepared. And I wanna honour the One and Only who's with me throughout the whole ordeal of preparing.

Discipline is a hard thing--my housemates have their Travian empires calling out to them every half hour, every day. Then it's trying to call out to me as well. That would be bad preparation. Oh, how we need wisdom and might! I found them from the Owner, for they belong to him. The word in my ears keeps saying, this is the way, walk in it. If it's anything more than just reward for good works, I've found that it's unmerited favour.

And that's my reliance.

Come OSCE.
Come Prac Exam.
You can't stop me.

Picture from HP3.07: Stats 1 - "Being Right on Average"
(Thanks to Dr Katrina Scurrah)

Why do People Die?

...Perhaps what I meant is "What do people die from?"



Based on 2004 records, more than 85% of the people who died in that year are from middle- and low-income countries.

And what kills most people?

• Coronary heart disease
• Stroke & other cerebrovascular diseases
• Lower respiratory infections
• COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)

Mostly heart and lung diseases - the stuff that we've been learning in 3rd sem. Cleverly integrated with public health concepts like National Health Priority Areas, QALY, DALY etc.

On another note, why do people die? I really agree with Alex Seeley when she said that we're never really meant to die (Think: Why are we so sad when someone close passes away?). It goes back to the beginning of history. The fall of humanity. Disobedience. Rebellion.

But of course you don't have to remain fallen. You know why?

Credits: WHO (World Health Organisation)

Ex*m

3rd semester ending.

Didn't realise how quickly one semester passes. Back in KMB before starting uni, one of the things I've always pondered was, how on earth would I be able to perform at my best continually semester after semester? I had 4 semesters back then, and by the end of 2nd, I was already slacking a lot. EE, ToK, WorldLit, IA...LoL. I seriously was overwhelmed. In class, I already lost some enthusiasm, and I bet my classmates noticed it.

So here are some of the ways which I've found to be effective in raising my motivation:

1. Have a dream
What we see now always begins with what we didn't see in the past. In other words, have a vision. A goal. A target. An objective. And you know what doesn't work? I wanna be #1. Because there's only one first place, and it's really out of your control! What works better would be: I want at least all credits. Or I wanna get H2B and above for all subjects. Or I wanna score at least 90% for these 3 subjects this sem, and 85% for the other. Then commit to your goal and do your best.

2. You're always getting better
At the very least, you're better today compared to last year. Otherwise what are you working on? What's truly within our control are our thoughts, actions and behaviour. Ourselves. You're leading at least one person: you. So start looking at how far ahead you've progressed. This means so much to me because I've always compared myself to others. I'm designed with specific capabilities (specifications), for a specific purpose, so I should be the best that I can be. Not the best that Einstein can be, because I'm not Einstein.

3. Group study can and does work
One rule: The expectation is that everyone would individually be better. Requirements: discipline, unity, and humility. Discipline means making the effort to prepare for the session, more so for the person facilitating/leading it. Unity means not leaving anyone behind (think: why call it group study?). But perhaps humility is the most important factor. Otherwise it's just an ego-show where people demoralise each other. And that's violating the one rule.

4. Who's your reliance?
A great king said: Lean not on your own understanding. We seriously need to understand how life means nothing unless we know what the Designer made it for. I remember a boy who in Grade 6 always humbly said, "Unto you I rely." I'm not sure about you, but I still am inspired by that voice, and yearn to depend more on that understanding that is far higher than my own.

5. Keep your eyes on The Big Guy
If I can do it on my own, then I need to realise that I'm born for the impossible. And that 'impossible' is not the same for every person. My impossible is not yours. So if I'm trying to fulfil your impossible, I'm not doing the right thing! So how do I find out? Simple. I ask and seek the Author of Life, and fix my eyes there.


Picture credit: gatesofacademe.wordpress.com

Happy SWOT VAC.

All the best for you with exams!

...Broken

Bits from "Romance touches"

On one hand is the desire to “own”, to “be loved”, “be cared”, or whatever passionate words are used to describe that feeling of being in a relationship. That’s pampering myself. It’s self-centredness. What about her life? For goodness’ sake, she has tonnes of male fish in her sea of bachelors. Tonnes. And what about her future? What about setting her free? Her liberty? Letting her have all the opportunity to best develop herself as fully as possible, fulfilling her potential? And what about my future?

Lot’s of deep questions there. Abstract and futuristic questions of personal and interpersonal development. Not just mine, but also hers.

I find it interesting how I've always held on to some ideals when it comes to romance. Illidan always wanted Tyrande, and he lived for ages with that desire. The fact that his own twin brother Malfurion was the one for her must have driven him crazy. As for me, the ideal I held was loyalty to one.

It stems from a pure motive. But when it is held on to in a strict, rigid way, almost ritualistic, then I must ask myself: Why? Why hold on? Will there still be a reward to this loyalty? In fact, who to hold on to? If the Giver of Life came to do exactly what his name says, then why should I hold on to another?

I know someone who had always been single all his life. He had a few casual, temporary crushes here and there, but nothing serious. I asked him:

"So you take pride in your singlehood?"
"Yeah, I won't fall for any girl."

"*Sigh* Well, that's the pride of life." (and Illidan's pathetic story again)

But you know what I recently learned about him? Well, last year he liked a girl, more so than any previous ones. It probably went on for about 3 months. He told her nothing, but told his Counselor everything. He said, now it's different. I'm not holding too tightly anymore. A release, you know? Like no control. For the first time, I'm broken. Broken to my Maker.

I went, wow. I feel what you feel. Why not be broken to the girl first? You know why not? Because humans fail. Illidan found that Tyrande fails. But I've found that The One I'm broken to doesn't.

And there's no other way I'd have it.
OK, Illidan was an imaginary demon hunter, a Night Elf (not a human), but you get what I mean.
Picture credit: DeviantArt