Friday, 3 July 2009
Thursday, 2 July 2009
What I saw
An overdue post that I had wanted to write some time ago...
God showed it to me at least twice in Semester 2 2008, during church service. I saw two H1's in my imagination (probably what Kris Vallotton calls "visions of the mind"). I guess it's one of the ways how He communicates with us. After asking it from Him, and being shown the mental picture, I cried. Do I even deserve this?
It's not the first time God spoke to me about my exam result. Last semester's result was prophesied to me half a year earlier when I saw three H1's descending like glittering stars (also in church on Sunday...why 3? Maybe because NDM is worth 3 subjects). For my SPM - which really is the first step in my uni life journey - God spoke to me in prayer about giving me eleven A's.
So where did the result come from, me or Him? Still to this day I think there's God's part, and there's mine. It's conditional, and perhaps, it is possible for it to 'fail' in human terms. Does that mean that God is not faithful? Well, honestly, from what I've experienced about God, He's the most faithful person in the universe. Usually humans are the ones who walk away from what they've been promised. How many times has God personally said to each of the kings of Israel: "If you walk before Me as your father David walked...then I will establish the throne of your kingdom over Israel forever". And how many times have each of them not fulfilled these conditions?
Looking back over the past semester, I must say that it took a lot of hard work on my part to make the promise a reality. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of devotion. To whom? To The One, because He's the Giver of Life Abundant. The only meaning that I find in all this hard work is that it's pleasing Him, by making use of everything He's given to me - place in Med, house in Carlton, food everyday, a lot of free uncommitted time, enough money, skills to read, write, count, and solve problems, etc. Obedience to His authority is the highest form of worship, therefore I see every choice in my life on that background: am I obeying His voice right now? As long as I am (and yes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak), I consider it meaningful and worthwhile. Heck, in fact my own opinions should fade in contrast to His approval. Because the only thing that matters is what God thinks, not man.
The night before my result came out, while in bed, in my imagination I saw God putting something in my hands, and I held it tight. It was the double H1's. It's the word of God fulfilled in my life. It's from Him, and for Him only.
Seriously, if I did not choose to submit to His will for my life - if I was unwilling to give up the little mini-commitments that only distract from my direction, like the girl(s), fun in computer games, impure fantasies, etc - if I did not walk in His ways, this wouldn't have come to pass.
And now that it has, I choose what Paul chose: I turn from the past and turn to what's ahead, looking unto God, the Author and Finisher of my Faith.
God showed it to me at least twice in Semester 2 2008, during church service. I saw two H1's in my imagination (probably what Kris Vallotton calls "visions of the mind"). I guess it's one of the ways how He communicates with us. After asking it from Him, and being shown the mental picture, I cried. Do I even deserve this?
It's not the first time God spoke to me about my exam result. Last semester's result was prophesied to me half a year earlier when I saw three H1's descending like glittering stars (also in church on Sunday...why 3? Maybe because NDM is worth 3 subjects). For my SPM - which really is the first step in my uni life journey - God spoke to me in prayer about giving me eleven A's.
So where did the result come from, me or Him? Still to this day I think there's God's part, and there's mine. It's conditional, and perhaps, it is possible for it to 'fail' in human terms. Does that mean that God is not faithful? Well, honestly, from what I've experienced about God, He's the most faithful person in the universe. Usually humans are the ones who walk away from what they've been promised. How many times has God personally said to each of the kings of Israel: "If you walk before Me as your father David walked...then I will establish the throne of your kingdom over Israel forever". And how many times have each of them not fulfilled these conditions?
Looking back over the past semester, I must say that it took a lot of hard work on my part to make the promise a reality. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of devotion. To whom? To The One, because He's the Giver of Life Abundant. The only meaning that I find in all this hard work is that it's pleasing Him, by making use of everything He's given to me - place in Med, house in Carlton, food everyday, a lot of free uncommitted time, enough money, skills to read, write, count, and solve problems, etc. Obedience to His authority is the highest form of worship, therefore I see every choice in my life on that background: am I obeying His voice right now? As long as I am (and yes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak), I consider it meaningful and worthwhile. Heck, in fact my own opinions should fade in contrast to His approval. Because the only thing that matters is what God thinks, not man.
The night before my result came out, while in bed, in my imagination I saw God putting something in my hands, and I held it tight. It was the double H1's. It's the word of God fulfilled in my life. It's from Him, and for Him only.
Seriously, if I did not choose to submit to His will for my life - if I was unwilling to give up the little mini-commitments that only distract from my direction, like the girl(s), fun in computer games, impure fantasies, etc - if I did not walk in His ways, this wouldn't have come to pass.
And now that it has, I choose what Paul chose: I turn from the past and turn to what's ahead, looking unto God, the Author and Finisher of my Faith.
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Chapter end (9)
Part IX.
Word came to pass.
Took me some time to get my result using the enrollment/result email service. I submitted a request at around 3pm but it was still too early, and then again at 12.20am after coming home. I checked my portal email lots of times and decided that if it didn't come by 3am, I'd go to bed first.
I was woken up by my friend's phone alarm. Went to the bathroom while letting my laptop turn on. Then logged on to Student Portal. And got my results.
Really thanking God for this great journey that I've been on. Last night, I've decided that whatever the result is, it actually isn't as meaningful as the adventure itself, because it is during the long, sometimes arduous process that I've learned about what God desires out of my life.
Well, He came through and fulfilled His word! I achieved the highest excellence prophesied to me. And really, I found the journey (the process) to be more meaningful than the result itself (the single point in time). And you know what, this story is really more about Him than me. Seriously.
That's the close of this semester's chapter. Next up, Sem4 Neuroscience.
Picture credit: Daniel Mencák
Word came to pass.
Took me some time to get my result using the enrollment/result email service. I submitted a request at around 3pm but it was still too early, and then again at 12.20am after coming home. I checked my portal email lots of times and decided that if it didn't come by 3am, I'd go to bed first.I was woken up by my friend's phone alarm. Went to the bathroom while letting my laptop turn on. Then logged on to Student Portal. And got my results.
Really thanking God for this great journey that I've been on. Last night, I've decided that whatever the result is, it actually isn't as meaningful as the adventure itself, because it is during the long, sometimes arduous process that I've learned about what God desires out of my life.
Well, He came through and fulfilled His word! I achieved the highest excellence prophesied to me. And really, I found the journey (the process) to be more meaningful than the result itself (the single point in time). And you know what, this story is really more about Him than me. Seriously.
That's the close of this semester's chapter. Next up, Sem4 Neuroscience.
Picture credit: Daniel Mencák
Friday, 26 June 2009
Final 1 Hour (8)
Part VIII. CRL Practical, 1 hour, 50-MCQ, 15%.
Never Stop.
We learn from out mistakes. Agree? Well, after my last exam paper, here are three things I just learned:
1. When talking about lymph nodes, Bronchopulmonary = Hilar
2. The neutrophil's job
3. Coagulative necrosis - not fibrosis!
Also, as always, the prac exam has a few questions where the wording makes it ambiguous (at least to me). One thing I remember:
I ended with about 18 spare minutes. Whew. What I feared the most were those long, PBL-style questions where you're told the patient's symptoms, history, body temperature, heart rate, etc., and give a diagnostic answer. And this is an MCQ test! Anyway, we didn't get any of that in the Prac paper, so it's a relief.
Last thoughts, despite the extra revision time that we had before this paper, I still don't feel the "readiness" feeling that I used to have before this. Could be a bad sign that I'm not preparing myself well enough. Or, could mean how much more I'm denying self-reliance, taking instead the understanding-that-is-higher-than-ours. And that's what I wish.
Never Stop.
We learn from out mistakes. Agree? Well, after my last exam paper, here are three things I just learned:
1. When talking about lymph nodes, Bronchopulmonary = Hilar
2. The neutrophil's job
3. Coagulative necrosis - not fibrosis!
Also, as always, the prac exam has a few questions where the wording makes it ambiguous (at least to me). One thing I remember:
"The muscle associated with the structure pointed by the white arrow..."It's as if the "muscle" and the "structure" are completely different, or somewhat different, or somehow related. I couldn't tell (so that's my problem). In the end I decided that the structure was part of the muscle, and made my answer choice.
I ended with about 18 spare minutes. Whew. What I feared the most were those long, PBL-style questions where you're told the patient's symptoms, history, body temperature, heart rate, etc., and give a diagnostic answer. And this is an MCQ test! Anyway, we didn't get any of that in the Prac paper, so it's a relief.
Last thoughts, despite the extra revision time that we had before this paper, I still don't feel the "readiness" feeling that I used to have before this. Could be a bad sign that I'm not preparing myself well enough. Or, could mean how much more I'm denying self-reliance, taking instead the understanding-that-is-higher-than-ours. And that's what I wish.
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