Crezki Science

My Personal Interest in Science

My scientific interest tells the story of a gradual build up that still keeps growing. In my childhood years, Lego models with gears captured my interest – e.g. when a small steering spin resulted in a big crane to turn. In high school, I was fascinated with Mathematics and the Pure Sciences, mainly because of their approach that tends to simplify things into 1st principles, just like the Lego models.

Now in my medical course, Science continues to fascinate me with its consistent “explanatory power”, for example in the use of dopamine-increasing medication to treat patients with Parkinson’s disease. Their symptoms can be simplified into dopamine deficiency or dopamine excess – deficiency results in stiffness and slowed movement, while excess (from medication) results in unwanted movements and hallucinations. This model also neatly explains how dopamine-blocking medication can alleviate symptoms of schizophrenia (hallucinations) and can cause stiffness.

During research in 3rd year medicine, I enjoyed the scientific engagement with both my direct supervisor, who had clear and simple whiteboard sessions to teach me the laboratory techniques, and my overall supervisor, who skilfully co-ordinated multiple projects on neurodegenerative conditions. The presence of like-minded people around me sharpened my scientific aptitude, making me realise that there is so much more to discover in the natural world.

Why does this motivate me so much? It is because the scientific knowledge is eventually translated into good patient care – there is a human life benefitting from the discoveries of Science.

Submission for UROP: Undergraduate Research Opportunities Programme, 26 Sep 2011

How I answered my interview questions

Or perhaps, how I would answer them now

1. What course are you applying for?
   Medicine.
   
   
2. Where do you want to study?
   Australia. I've got some relatives there, but I don't mind living in a different city.
   
   
3. Tell us about yourself and your family.
   Well, my parents both grew up in a rural area, raised by farmer parents who perhaps had primary school education. They then moved out of the "kampung", pursued tertiary education and raised me as a person who values knowledge. That's how I started focussing on my studies in school and getting good results.
   
   
4. Why do you want to be a medical doctor?
   I love a challenge. I think a medical course provides serious intellectual challenge. It also enables me to help suffering people in the process, so it's not just a blind challenge. In my secondary school, I learned the values of faith, service and community. I can see myself embodying these values as a medical doctor who stands in his faith, and provides service above himself to the community around him.
   
   
5. Situational question: You are in medical school, you have 3 assignments and 1 week to complete them. What will you do?
   It will be a very busy week. First, I will focus on the most important assignment (giving the most marks). Gaming and social time will be cut down for this week. I might need to sleep less too. If I still can't finish all of them, then I'll consider asking for an extension [I remember actually saying this].
   
   
6. Tell us about your co-curricular activities.
   I was in Taekwondo and Boy Scouts. I also like singing, playing guitar, and playing chess. I also joined the Science Quiz team and the Debating team.
   
   
7. Do you have any questions for us?
   Do I have to pay the education loan in full once I'm done studying?
   Can I work overseas for a while before returning home?
   [My impression was, you should ask questions to show them your interest]

The MARA Interview

When my life course changed

Adapted from ReCom.

A few days before interview [on Fri, 6 May 2005]. Thanks to mediator and bittersweetheart.

For MARA interview:

• No group interview (unlike JPA).
• No specific group debate/discussion on a current social/economic issue. May have a general question on a social issue.
• Find info related to the course; e.g. Minister of Health Malaysia
• Prepare to answer honestly why MARA instead of JPA, why overseas/local, why Medicine. May need to unveil some personal life principles.
• Be myself.
• Relax! Just have a healthy, but not excessive dose of anxiety.

My personal thought: JPA and MARA interviews are very different in terms of time, place, format, and process (MARA questions were also scarcer on ReCom).

On the day of interview:

Just went to MARA in Kota Kinabalu.

Each applicant is interviewed by 2-3 panel members.

I applied for Medicine; 7/38 Sabahan applicants went for this course (18%). Others applied for TESL, Engineering, German Engineering.

Some of the questions:

1. What course are you applying for?
2. Where do you want to study?
3. Tell us about yourself and your family.
4. Why do you want to be a medical doctor?
5. Situational question: I am in medical school, I have 3 assignments and 1 week to complete them. What will I do?
6. Tell us about your co-curricular activities.
7. Do you have any questions for us?

It took 20-25 minutes.

In my next post, I'll tell you how I responded to those questions.

Meanwhile, let's contemplate God's unforeseen blessing in the form of ReCom - that forum revealed the questions way before the actual interview. Thank God for such a useful tool.

Sudden healing

Wed 05.10.11

Fever, tiredness, aches and pains

I’m not sure when the symptoms started. It was probably around 11am this morning, when I was in placement. I felt cold, weak and my muscles were slightly aching with a severity of 1/10. Everything gradually worsened. In the afternoon, my ear temperature was between 37.9 to 38.3°C (normal is lower than 37.5). My medical student friend was interviewing me like a patient. A nurse asked if I wanted some Panadol but I stayed away from it.

I wondered if the cleaning and scaling I had earlier in the morning at the dentist’s had caused a transient bacteraemia – I started getting worried about sepsis and endocarditis.

Throughout the day, I was tired. In the train to the city (for prayer meet), I couldn’t read or focus; I could only drop my head down and rest. I was also silently praying all the while.

At 6pm during PlanetUni prayer, Yuong, Joyce, and Melissa felt my forehead and it was still warm. God was asking, do you want to be healed? I said yes, Jesus.

During the train ride back home I was still tired and weak, leaning my head against the window. I plugged my earphones to listen to Secret Place, our church album. Then the train officer had to wake me up to check my Myki. “Tired?” he asked. I said yes.

All the while I was thinking, if I’m as sick as this, I wouldn’t mind talking with Jesus all the time, either in words or in tongues. Because nothing else would matter. I was showering at 9.15pm, and I told God how this sickness had made me closer to Him this day. He showed me at least 2 mental pictures (which I’ll write about soon). I didn’t mind being sick if that meant greater intimacy with Him. I said, “This is who I am”. I was looking at the ceiling. Suddenly, the cold feeling went away in an instant, along with the tiredness, aches and pains (which by that time was quite bad, 5/10). Muscle aches dropped to 1/10 - it’s not 0 because of my workout yesterday. After showering, in excitement I asked my housemate to feel my forehead - it's not warm anymore! I still had a bit of headache (also 1/10) around my eyebrows, which I think is from my tooth cavity [which will be the next miracle].

Praise Jesus, through His bruises we get healed!

Discovery

Here's a little pat on the back for those of you in the research world

The joy of research

A colleague summed up the way many researchers feel about their profession. When asked why he spent so many hours in the lab, he noted that the alternatives were to go home, where he would do the same things that millions of others were doing, or to work in his lab, where he could discover things that no other human had ever discovered. The smile on his face told the story: for him, working on research was sheer joy.

Credits: cs.purdue.edu

iNFO

More on studying medicine in Melbourne

The 6-year undergraduate, 'PBL model' double-degree MBBS/BMedSc took in their first students in 1999. Semesters 1-5 are uni-based, focussing on pre-clinical education. Sem 6-7 is the research year. Sem 8-12 are clinical placements in hospitals (divided into 15 different rotations). Graduates may skip Sem 1, 6 and 7, making it a 4.5-year degree. The last intake for undergraduates was in 2008, for graduates in 2009.

The course prior to this (also 6 years, MBBS) was probably 'traditional', with pre-clinicals that emphasise lectures, not tutorials, and more of hard biomedical knowledge than of soft clinical skills. I only know nerdy stuff about the course: past papers are available online, and top scorers get their names inscribed on a wooden hall of fame on level 2 of the medical building.

The new 4-year graduate entry, Melbourne-model MD will commence in 2011, graduating their first batch in 2014. The 1-year pre-clinical phase seems like a heavier version of the PBL model (5 semesters condensed into 2) - 12 hours of lectures every week, 18 weeks per semester. Examination is at the end of the year.

Questions/corrections are welcome.

Also: Interesting article on the history of medical education in The University of Melbourne.

Thank You (10)

Expression of gratitude

God, thank You for my 5th semester result
No way could I have achieved this without Your guidance

I look first to You
Not to others
Not to myself
Because You're the source of my identity
You define me
I'm Your image

It was a difficult exam
And I sense H2A and H2B are above average
Or somewhere close
But even if not
Still I come with a very grateful heart

I give thanks
For each of the 80 lectopias
That I attentively absorbed
For all the past paper practices
For the group study sessions
And for the exam itself

I admit
I don't understand how
I could miss First Class Honours
But I've firmly resolved
To follow You only
Your voice that
Says

"This is the way, walk in it"

Update: For Sem5 '10, the H2A is 6 marks above average, while the H2B is 3 marks below. My score is +3.75 from the cohort weighted average.

Natural vs Supernatural (8)

The Holy Spirit's got me pumping

α

We have doctors to treat diarrhoea, injuries, some infections, headaches, acute pain, the common cold (maybe), cough and the like. And to keep doing the regular things in managing patients and preventing illnesses. Also, of course, fill in forms and write documentation.

But we have Christian doctors to heal the sick from HIV & AIDS, all kinds of cancer, chronic diseases (diabetes, dyslipidaemia, hypertension, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, chronic pain), leprosy, blindness, muteness, deafness, paralysis and all other such 'impossible' things. And to keep advancing medicine with breakthrough discoveries in biomedicine and healthcare. While they're at it, they better start documenting these extraordinary, supernatural stuff that's happening all around!

Ooh, I'm pumped for the Medical Elective in Hillsong 2010!

β

Quotes from Day 8-14.

8. Children don't believe in limits.
9. Cross over to FAVOUR [your God-given destiny]. But how?
10. 1>It's time to LEAD. Remember, leadership is a choice, not a position.
11. 2>Be strong and courageous.
12. 3>Obey everything you've been commanded.
13. 4>Focus.
14. We gotta be steadfast. Live by faith, not by sight.

Scripture reference:

Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them.
Be strong and very courageous.
Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you.
Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left.
Jos 1:6-7 NLT

15 Sets and 3 Reps (6)

1st midsem test.

What's the keyword for this semester? Repetition. If you look my post on the pre-clinical H1 hypothesis written last year, that was my study plan. Meaning, before the mid-sem test, I would have studied the lecture notes 3 times (actual lecture, revision lectopia, and pre-test lectopia). The fourth time would be around swot vac time, just before the finals.

But perhaps I was too ambitious with this plan - I could finish only 1 or 2 pre-test lectopias (3rd dose) while in Brisbane (and during the flight). At least revision lectopia were done (the 2nd dose).

Outside Cyber City on a Saturday midnight

I sure was there (Wellington Point)

Gunfight with my 12-year old cousin

Indan's grand-boys (Missing: Rokian)

15 sets = 15 lectures to cover (5 per week x 3 weeks). There were also 15 questions on the exam. And for the first time, I scored 100% on a test in med school. God always helps you, regardless of whether you're in Melbourne, Brisbane, or anywhere in the world.

Sitting for an exam the first thing on a Monday morning, right after a whirlwind trip to a cousin's wedding in Brisbane (flew out on Saturday morning, flew in the next evening) - that's one heck of a dramatic trip.

Rationalise? (5)

Whose life message?

Many times I'm tempted to rationalise my situation. My blessed situation, mind you, not just any situation. It's like apologising to people for the favour God has on my life. Which, as Pastor Russell preached, is something we should not do.

Illustration: Imagine Lothar the swordsman, always winning swordsmanship competitions. Demonstrations, slashing shows, or duels - you name it, he has won it. He competes against the best in his class, where the warriors could wield two swords and swing them faster than an average warrior could swing one. The yearly competition attracts the attention of many fighters from distant kingdoms, and the one who wins is highly respected. Lothar, of course, trains very diligently with the blade. His master constantly pushes him to his limit, and his inner circle of friends are all excellent swordsmen themselves.

Now substitute swordsman for your modern-day career, and swordsmanship for the specialised thing that you do. E.g. medicine - learning to treat/cure the human body. Or engineering - building structures for human activity. Or mathematics - solving unsolved conjectures. Or others. For me, I can't deny how much Holy Spirit is involved in my routine, daily tasks as I learn medicine. I wrote "Tuhan, tulung" in my DMF 7.3 lecture notes, where we were learning very specific mechanisms used by viruses to evade host immune systems, e.g. the Nef, Vpu and Tat protein of HIV which reduce MHC Class I expression on the membrane of infected T cells.

Someone might point out, hey, since you study so much anyway, don't you think it's inevitable that you'd score well? The world would say that the way to excellence is hard work. High intelligence would be a bonus. Anything else is due to luck. That may be some people's life message, but not mine.

I don't buy that. So many people work their backsides off without any real significant gains. A high intelligence just means that your benchmark is set higher. You have only yourself to compare against. More is demanded out of you - that's my take.

The essential ingredient, regardless, is God. He blesses all that I set my hands to. My effort bears more fruit because of His blessing. I become more disciplined because He gives me strength. Any deficiencies in my intellect will be filled by Him. In fact, He's so much more than just an ingredient. He's actually the Master Chef.

Overview (1)

Extract.

Right. It's the time of the year again when I write one post per day, reflecting on the semester that's just passed. So how was this semester?

In general, it's been a great experience. I'll take 2 perspectives: the course structure itself, and my personal involvement in it. The course is very cleverly designed to review all body systems that we've learned since Semester 1 (or maybe 2). The 1st PBL case was gastroenteritis, which was kind of an NDM review, but looking from Salmonella Typhimurium's point of view. Second (E. coli UTI, candidiasis) was a urinary tract/female genital tract review. Third (MRSA septic shock) was a circulatory system review while fourth (Pneumocystis jiroveci pneumonia) and fifth (atopy) were respiratory system reviews, all done earlier in Sem 3. Sixth (pneumococcal meningitis) was a nervous system review (Sem 4). Yeah, you get the vibe. But that wasn't all; the 3-hour weekly prac classes added so many more pathogens, pathogenetic mechanisms, and disease states to our knowledge base. It's a bit more of a spoon-feeding method compared to copying notes from computer prac classes, I must admit, but I was really happy with the didactic method of knowledge transfer. I really salute Sandra, Helen and the other tutors for being willing to put up with 5 sessions of the same practical class every week, for 10 consecutive weeks.

The course required 15 contact hours on average per week. Almost every other non-med student wouldn't believe that. But that's the essence of the "self-directed learning" philosophy behind Melbourne Uni's PBL-driven, systems-based, integrated medical curriculum (not sure how the newer Melbourne Model will be like). Our tutor did mention that a fully PBL-based course would have even fewer contact hours, no lectures, and total independence for students. In theory, I could be spending 100% of my free time studying and revising all we learned in class, including self-study for things not taught by our lecturers. But of course I didn't do that. My revising time probably varied from 10-20 hours per week, mainly involving listening to lectopia. Rooftop Lemur also broke up, giving me even more uncommitted time. So what else did I do?

• There was Urban Life and Guest Services which were (still are) routine. Served in 14 Sunday services.
  
• Lots of social (steamboat, potluck, house warming, CMDFA BBQ, Docklands, play kitchen).
• Also hospital/clinical school open days to help us choose which one to go to (lots of travel....to RMH, Western, Northern, St V).
• Brisbane trip--yay :)
  
• Went to my first Surgical Careers Night in Austin.
• UMMSS careers night.
  
• Attended friends' graduation ceremonies (always makes me anticipate mine!)
• A meeting with my sponsor.
• VSAP Charity Talent Show--the acrobatics were incredible!
  
• Cupcakes/'Share the Love' project. Tomo and Rie were unforgettable.
  
• Picnic at St Kilda beach.
• Dance audition (bet you've never heard of this).
• Wrote an application for a research bursary.
• 2 Carers Discipleship nights, 2 Combined Discipleship nights, 1 corporate prayer meet.
• Proofread 2 essays for a friend.

Ahhh, it actually feels good to extract this out from my week-view diary into 1 post. Makes me realise just how many occasions have happened in the past 4.5 months. Well, there's still more to come!

Of cats and laureates

A top cat?

Controlling the migration of such people [talented scientists] is a bit like herding cats, a rather useless exercise. It does nonetheless help to offer quality cat food (funding) and plenty of it if you want to attract the attention of a top cat.

-Peter Doherty, The Beginner's Guide to Winning the Nobel Prize

I found this to be really amusing! "Attention of a top cat". LoL. This became a self-motivating question for me while I went jogging today: Are you a top cat? If you fall, do you rise again? Do you keep pushing to your limits? If you have to suffer in order to fulfill your destiny, would you? How willing are you? And once people do recognise you as a top cat, how would you redefine the top cat standard?

Picture credit: birmancatclub.co.uk

Moment of Shock (1)

Part XIX.

Is this really it?

Waited till 3am for the result to come out.

Kind of surprised to see the outcome; it wasn't what I expected.

Lower than my target, and it wasn't what I heard Papa say.

Still now it's an ongoing question that I still ask.

Even if it is it, then I still seek Him.

There's gotta be a bigger lesson
that I haven't yet
realised.

An Idea Unwritten (2)

Part XVIII.

"Unassuming"

1

"When you've changed, I'll tell you." That was early 2009, said by my UL leader. But I was very anxious back then, thinking, why can't I know exactly how/what to change now?

Within a few months she said: Hey, you've changed so much, you know; what made you change?

Now I must admit that those few months were a bit different than previous months.

2

Flashback 1 year - I'm in 1st year of uni, living away from parents, free to take care of all my time and money. No nagging, no orders, no instructions. I thought to myself, God, you blessed me so much to live life. Soon enough, the thought turned into: Hey, what am I here for, really? So I set myself some targets. Straight H1's in school would set me apart - make me get to the 1% of the right hand bell curve. After all, I'm already part of a social class. What's more prestigious than Melbourne Uni? And what's more exclusive than Medicine? Now if I just become a little bit more of an over-achiever (as if I'm not already one), then the world's eyes would be set upon me.

3

When K and I arrived for the party, all I wanted was to look good. Then she asked what "backslide" meant, and I wanted to explain it to her as silently possible. Because not knowing that basic term is a shame in people's eyes!

Happened later with N too. I had wanted the calls, the talk, the walk, etc, to be as cool, smooth and flowing as could possibly be imagined. I had certain assumptions about how it's meant to be. It killed my unassuming attitude.

4

Looking back, I clearly see these changes inside of me. From who I was, to the hardened self, and back to the unassuming me. It's been a fight, really. I admit, it's not easy to know that you're wrong until after the incident. Heck, I might even be wrong in some areas now, still being shaped and moulded by the Higher Power. But the greatest thing to realise is that He is on your side. He's faithful even when you're not.

Question is, would you respond with an unassuming attitude?

Picture credit: familycentersinc.org

Battle of 'the real world' (3)

Part XVII.

Neuroscience - This is it

A

Hmmm, let this first half be "Battle of Photographs", because that is essentially what the Prac exam is. I reckon it's a great paper too, although I did make a mistake because I didn't know the answer then. People said this paper was hard, and that's mainly because it was ultra-specific. That's the usual method of catching med students 'off guard'.

B

As for the combined OSCE and Neurological/Musculoskeletal Physical Exam, it ended on a high note for me. After finishing around 2pm, I didn't have to wait hours like I did last semester. I think I covered the content well for the symptom of tension-type headache, although I wish I could be more fluent with my questioning and "conversation". I could also have improved on the fluency of my answer for the doctor's question at the end. And as bonus, perhaps I could have differentiated between infrequent, frequent and chronic subtypes of TTH. But oh well, it was a superb exam overall. Surprising thing for the physical was, I ended before the 6-minute bell, and as I was about to leave, the actor said, "There's another one" (1 minute later). So we chatted about going back home, holiday plan, etc.

C

Summer truly is a liberating time. No external commitments, study loads, other-imposed duties, etc. It's all from you - i.e. you decide what you wanna spend your time on. And I've amazed myself because of my discipline in exercising/working out during the past 2 weeks. Just today I was doing shrugs in CS gym. Never knew that I could shrug 20 kilos! Now time to see the traps grow =)

This Uni Life (4)

Part XVI.

α

The Pre-Clinical H1 Hypothesis

Repetition for Lectures

That means:

O - pre-read

1 - attend lecture ± Lectopia prn (as needed)

2 - Lectopia (pre-test)

3 - grand round

Hunger: Ask, Seek, Knock for PBL's

On Mondays and Thursdays - 2 sessions now...not just 1!

Maybe 1 day of overnight (considering I've been doing it a few times anyway...and then there's on-call to be conditioned for)

Consolidate/Coagulate/Sediment for Prac

Take the trouble (e.g. spinal cord & brainstem; took some time, didn't they?), let it sink.

'Precocious' for HP

Start early in all aspects: ICM, physical exam, medical Hx OSCE, past years.

Coactivators

• do group study
• teach people
• be taught

β

Finally writing this from my laptop again! It was gone for a few days, unable to load Windows XP, and I'm still not sure why. Anyway, I got the installer CD from Pau yesterday, and thankfully Dad has got a valid XP Pro CD key. I'm also grateful for the C: and D: partitioning. Otherwise all my writings and excel sheets would have been reset to 0.

Picture credit: mame.mu.oz.au

Battle of Spectrum (5)

Part XV.

Paper Review 3

It was a wide-range paper spanning almost the entire Sem4 curriculum. Hence "spectrum". But I did realise the lack of pharmacology questions.
(Now I might be caught for doing this, but I'm not so worried)
Listed below are my "confidence" levels for each question:
1. Stroke +++++
2. Facial n. ++++
3. Spinal cord, L5, sup. fib. n. +++
4. Secondary amenorrhoea +++
5. 69 y/o, dementia ++
6. Contraceptives, PI +
7. Pharyngotympanic tube, epiglottis +
8. Red chilli, watery eyes, red cheeks, ↑HR +++
9. Population control +
10. Adrenal gland ++++
11. UMN, LMN, tendon jerk reflex +++
12. Chromosomal abnormalities +

#9 is definitely the most jaw-dropping question I've had this semester. But as they say, expect the unexpected.

Anyway, the night before I was doing forward-moving declarations, believing that I'll get an H1 for this paper's breakdown. This never happened before. Usually my PBL paper brought my score down (it had been H2B and P). Despite feeling not confident in the natural, I'm trusting the supernatural to bring this through. So it can't happen by myself alone. Well, what if it turns out that it does happen? Then that's the extra push/pull enabling me in the impossible. Nothing is impossible for those who believe.

Yeah, I'm waiting on that.

Lectopia Countdown (6)

Part XIV.

I see the light (the end)

It was 3 weeks before my final paper that I decided to start Lectopia-ing all the 70+ lectures again. At 2X speed, at best this would take 30 minutes, or shorter if the lecturer was kind. You might be thinking, 70 lectures to listen to - that's crazy! But believe me, I had been rocking it back and forth in my head, while I was deciding on the most effective way to fully cover everything in Sem4. Then I realised, making up my mind itself was taking precious time off from revising!

So I just set my mind to it, and managed to finish 1.5 weeks of stuff in week 13; 5.5 in week 14; and 5 during Swot Vac. So that was 12 weeks of stuff; so I'm left with week 7 (Neuropharmacology) and 12 (Steroid hormones & endocrine glands). And to this day I look back to 27 Oct 09, the day I did 9 lectures - including the fearsome brainstem - and 40 midsem MCQ's. By the way, how on earth did I squeeze almost all of the PBL mechanisms and some Histo stuff during those moments?

Now it has been a tremendous accomplishment that I'm really thankful for. But I do wish that (next time) I'll finish the lecture synopses.

Picture credit: revjavadude.files.wordpress.com

Battle of Specifics (7)

Part XIII. No more cranial nerve

Paper Review 2

Awww... I thought the HP exam was fine, OK, all right. Yup. While I was able to answer most of the questions, I realised that I still have loopholes in my knowledge base (e.g. usage rate of withdrawal method is less than 5%). The medial brain structures involved in memory include basal forebrain and anterior thalamus. I forgot a lot of these stuffs (specifics), yeah, but that's expected I suppose. That's why I don't aim for perfection (100%), but for excellence. I just hope that my marks are ≥ 80% (that's what I declared the day before).

God, help. Just like You helped me in my study sessions. Just like You helped bump my CRL MCQ into a high H1 last sem. Fulfil Your Word of excellence to me, Lord. I ask in Jesus' name. And I go a step further now; increase my faith as I go through this storm that is my exam. I wanna learn what You're saying to me. It's all for You; it's all about You, Daddy!

We're under attack! (8)

Part XII. Hypoglossal nerve

Writings to Papa 2
Retreat to Him

God, I'm tempted to feel bad about myself now... to lose hope... but You know what, my eyes are fixed on You - on You alone. I'll honour You tomorrow with my time. For I know that time spent with You is very powerful.
I know You are able, my God. I know Your love never fails. I face my exam with boldness that comes from You, HolySpirit. None shall separate Your love from me. So there's nothing for me to fear.

It seems like every Swot Vac and exam period brings something new to me - it's probably related to the "unassuming" attitude (an idea I'm writing soon). So for me, what's new is that God really is a fortress, a tower, a mother base. You know, when your army is falling weak and you've gotta return for protection. Return to where? That's God.

It's funny sometimes - I'm studying for more than 1 hour straight, tired and a bit saturated ("threshold"), and I look up to God, ready to complain and let it all out, and He says: Keep going. And He points down at my lecture notes. The race isn't over yet.

Really, He's been the source of my focus and attention during each study time that I have.

Picture credit: tolkienforums.com