The power of choice

On Thoughts.

Isn't it such a great feeling when you're able to pinpoint a flaw in your life and say, "Aha, this one's not right"?

One that I've got is a recurrent thought saying: "It's all useless anyway." It's the #1 thought that stops me from doing what I'd do.

When I wanna study and revise, it goes: But it's not going to make any difference. You're studying too much. The gain is too little. Look at your friends - see how little they work? The extra mile isn't worth it. You're an overworked, over-involved, overstressed workhorse. Heck, I bet you that 100 extra hours revising your Bacterial Infections won't gain you even 1 additional dollar in the long run.

When I decide to channel a portion of my money to help a child in a developing country, it goes: What good is it? You're taking too much trouble. Just enjoy your money. You're only going to be poorer than your peers. What, you think that as a giver you'll be a more respectable philanthropist? You're not donating $1 million; it's not going to matter anyway. Furthermore, you're working too hard with bank accounts, managing your money and all that. Hey, I tell you, it's all unnecessary.

When I decide to do a work experience attachment, it goes: It's summer break, and you'd be bothered to get up at all, against your will? Whether you do that western blot or not, that cell count or not, it will probably change the course of history by 0.1 nanodegrees (10^-10). It doesn't even matter, and you're wasting your energy. Come on, Creski, you don't need to do it.

Makes me share the feelings of the Teacher in Ecclesiastes, 2nd chapter, 18th verse: I came to hate all my hard work here on earth, for I must leave to others everything I have earned. And who can tell whether my successors will be wise or foolish? Yet they will control everything I have gained by my skill and hard work under the sun.

But still he ends his writings by saying: Here now is my final conclusion. Fear God and obey His commands, for this is everyone's duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.

Another thing with this thought is, it usually comes in resistance against a good deed that I've decided on earlier. I agree that it's sometimes useful to think whether my actions are futile, but hesitating or chronically thinking that everything I do in the world is useless is useless. Yes, useless.

And a servant who knows what the master wants, but isn't prepared and doesn't carry out those instructions, will be severely punished. But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. That's recorded by Luke, 12th chapter, 47th verse.

Take that, useless thought. I have the power to choose, and I choose not to entertain you.

Picture credit: studioshash