Friday, 19 September 2008


Just another random Friday afternoon post.

Identity is the sense of self or self-conception. Something like self-awareness. In KH (Kemahiran Hidup, esp Form 2 stuff), students get exposed to the notion of "imej kendiri", which I think is quite related to identity. It's asking, who am I, what defines me, how do I present myself to the society around, why do I the things I do, etc. And perhaps it reaches out to other downstream decisions and actions that I make, too.

Here are two identities that I have assumed in the past:
An adventurer. A hero. Like the warrior in Diablo, bent on a quest to defeat the Lord of Terror. Thing is, I have no antagonist. I just assume the role of a fighter who builds himself up physically. Like Illidan the Demon Hunter, but without anything to hunt. It's like a means without an end. The means are martial art training - like Tae Kwon Do and Jeet Kun Do - coupled with flying moves (which are rather impractical, really). There's no end. Or maybe the end is just becoming a kind of warrior in itself. The lifestyle of training and working out the patterned moves become an objective/a goal on its own. Weird identity.

Another one's a scholar. A Harry Potter of sorts, doing academics instead of magic. An intellectual version of the hack-and-slash dirty pit gladiator. A promising student who has the entire academic arena waiting to be conquered. This was actually influential on me because that's my first strength that I noticed. Intellectual superiority became my identity, and it's not rare to hear people ask, "Macam mana bah ko jadi pandai ni?" In Form 2, I had actually tried denying IQ, the measure which shows up as the tendency of "intelligence" to predict academic performance. At that time, I instead pointed to hard, consistent work with effective techniques and a positive attitude. Now, my view is shifted a bit, and I'd say IQ does play a part: it often makes primary school easier. And maybe secondary school, too. So I had perhaps struck the lucky genes by picking the right parents and choosing the right combination of genes ("brains" are roughly 55-75% genetically determined). Well, God did that hard work, really. He made me this way. And my early schooling reflected it. Hence I saw myself as a scholar. And it's not over yet.

Time for anatomy dissection.

No comments: