Money

Yet another (potential) worry

I expected my allowance to come on Thursday. Well, normally it would arrive on the next day because it's an international transfer from my sponsor, probably made at 12.00am on Thursday. Midnight in KL would be 2 or 3am in Melb, so it would appear on Friday when I check my online account.

A bit of background on what's happening: I had run out of money since Monday- almost all of it. One of my accounts has $15. Three others have $5 each, so that's $30 left. I'm awaiting for payment from 2 other people, bringing my net current asset to $115. This is my broke-est week in Melbourne so far!

But it wasn't there yet on Friday. Nor on Saturday. Now it's Sunday, and still isn't there. It's frustrating, and I feel like grumbling to my sponsor. But my Father owns my sponsoring agency/council, and I would be grumbling to Him. Is that the right thing to do?

Today I woke up with the thought that His Word prevails in spite of my feelings. Though I might feel broke, I actually really am not, because God owns everything, especially the things I need.

I opened Philippians chapter 4, verse 19 (NKJV, NLT and AMP), and this is what I find:

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Ha! I'm dictated by God's Word, and not by my (sometimes dire) circumstances. This is another opportunity to see Him come through. I won't worry, God. Because I know Your perfect, unchanging character.

Picture credit: ireward.com.au

Worry

Why should I worry?

Have you ever had thoughts like, "Was it because I didn't talk to her enough? Did I miss doing this, or that?"

I have. And just now, God instantly prompted a response in my heart. He said, "Don't worry too much about that. Take each day one at a time." Reminds me of a verse in Matthew chapter 6.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

So what was it that worried me? Oh, a lot:
+personal spiritual growth
+my gifts and talents
+the fruitfulness of my AMS (God promised discovery)
+academic pursuits (revising Sem 1-5, reading up brain cancer & surgery)
+volunteering (Sacred Heart Mission, iftar, church Guest Services team)
+a recent eBay purchase
+money (plus giving & maybe work) etc.

If we go back 1 verse from the passage:

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

What things (all these things)?

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

So there it is - the very things that were worrying me. Perhaps I'm influenced by this "efficiency" or "productivity" paradigm that dominates this era. Nothing wrong with them on their own - they are neutral and are only a measure of output. But elevating output (or its measurement) to a God status is contrary to God's Word. We must not idolise output.

Want a personal example? So let's say I want to be a brain surgeon. I need high marks during my bachelor's medical degree to get into the college of surgeons, because the colleges want people with higher marks. Other than exams, I also get marks for the interview and for my CV. I only get to start college training as a surgeon after 1 year of internship (sometimes later). So that's 4.5 years away; what do I do in the mean time? Going by pure human logic, I should get all the marks now - or prepare for them. Therefore study for the exams. Get involved in recognised activities. Practise for the interview. Get along with people, find out what they are thinking of their future, and note how they communicate it to others. My schedule should fill up to increase productivity. See what I mean by "efficiency" paradigm?

Now let's say that I miss something that I planned to do (just like the intro). The time is wasted and my productivity drops. If this gets me worried, then it demands refocussing on the bigger picture. That is, I should focus on my aspiration to serve humanity in the medical field. Even bigger than that picture is God, because He is the originator of all humanity.

God pointed out to me that He's the one who causes things to happen. He asked, "Did you see the donation for Student Appeal coming? Or that it was coming the way it did?" My honest answer: No. The lecturer walked up to me; I did not even have to smile, or look at him in the eye, or motion to him (tactics to pick up a conversation). And he gave an amount that will be doubled because the university would match that donation. I did not see it coming; God surprised me today.

So why should I worry?

Quotes from Day 50-52.

50. Your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever your turn to the right or the left.
51. Let the River of God flow. Don't be a marsh or a swamp. Who are you pouring into?
52. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men.

The provider

Do you know him?

More testimonies that God is my provider:

+ fried noodles from Mara (gave/brought my tithes to church this week)
+ potluck at a friend's birthday party
3.95 the discount I received on a $12.95 power adapter (1 hour before that I gave $1 to a beggar on the street)
3.00 orange juice from a friend
+ sandwiches (leftovers) from a board meeting
+ muffins and juice from BW
+ uncle belanja at Pacific House

God keeps giving something every week, for the past 6 consecutive weeks. The provision might go through different people (remember how God delivered meat to Elijah via ravens?), but the provider, ultimately, is God. This is so fun!

Bring it on, Your love and favour
Pour it out till it runs over

Quotes from Day 43-49.

43. My mom and dad set the parameters for my blessing and my breakthrough.
44. Favour is all about the impossibility of man and the possibilities of God.
45. Speak it out. Have a faith confession.
46. Sometimes I wonder, what's a testimony for? Is it about the testifier or the one being testified about?
47. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle, and willing to yield to others.
48. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair. Persecuted, but not forsaken. Struck down, but not destroyed.
49. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Just pleasing people is a prison. It's dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you.


Picture credit: Texico Conference