Worry

Why should I worry?

Have you ever had thoughts like, "Was it because I didn't talk to her enough? Did I miss doing this, or that?"

I have. And just now, God instantly prompted a response in my heart. He said, "Don't worry too much about that. Take each day one at a time." Reminds me of a verse in Matthew chapter 6.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

So what was it that worried me? Oh, a lot:
+personal spiritual growth
+my gifts and talents
+the fruitfulness of my AMS (God promised discovery)
+academic pursuits (revising Sem 1-5, reading up brain cancer & surgery)
+volunteering (Sacred Heart Mission, iftar, church Guest Services team)
+a recent eBay purchase
+money (plus giving & maybe work) etc.

If we go back 1 verse from the passage:

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

What things (all these things)?

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

So there it is - the very things that were worrying me. Perhaps I'm influenced by this "efficiency" or "productivity" paradigm that dominates this era. Nothing wrong with them on their own - they are neutral and are only a measure of output. But elevating output (or its measurement) to a God status is contrary to God's Word. We must not idolise output.

Want a personal example? So let's say I want to be a brain surgeon. I need high marks during my bachelor's medical degree to get into the college of surgeons, because the colleges want people with higher marks. Other than exams, I also get marks for the interview and for my CV. I only get to start college training as a surgeon after 1 year of internship (sometimes later). So that's 4.5 years away; what do I do in the mean time? Going by pure human logic, I should get all the marks now - or prepare for them. Therefore study for the exams. Get involved in recognised activities. Practise for the interview. Get along with people, find out what they are thinking of their future, and note how they communicate it to others. My schedule should fill up to increase productivity. See what I mean by "efficiency" paradigm?

Now let's say that I miss something that I planned to do (just like the intro). The time is wasted and my productivity drops. If this gets me worried, then it demands refocussing on the bigger picture. That is, I should focus on my aspiration to serve humanity in the medical field. Even bigger than that picture is God, because He is the originator of all humanity.

God pointed out to me that He's the one who causes things to happen. He asked, "Did you see the donation for Student Appeal coming? Or that it was coming the way it did?" My honest answer: No. The lecturer walked up to me; I did not even have to smile, or look at him in the eye, or motion to him (tactics to pick up a conversation). And he gave an amount that will be doubled because the university would match that donation. I did not see it coming; God surprised me today.

So why should I worry?

Quotes from Day 50-52.

50. Your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever your turn to the right or the left.
51. Let the River of God flow. Don't be a marsh or a swamp. Who are you pouring into?
52. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men.