Slothness stops a lot

Why be lazy?

A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things.

Prov 18:9

Lazy people take food in their hand but don't even lift it to their mouth.

Prov 19:24

Those too lazy to plow in the right season will have no food at the harvest.

Prov 20:4

I actually had a lot of unfinished business as the semester ended. And some planned winter activities. A few were done; a lot weren't.

Some are even listed in my little black spiral notepad:

• viruses (big mech) + DDx
• cancer (big mech)
• MCQ's (microbio)
• read synopses

Week 2 to 12 of Semester 1 (PBS+HP1) is also on my list. As is Andrew Kaye's Essential Neurosurgery for my Brain Cancer essay. At the rate I'm going, none of this is happening. I started enthusiastically with about 4 lectures per day, two weeks ago, and managed to do 13 (next on the list is PBS 2.6).

I wanted to practise a few songs as well {Setia Kepada-Mu, Satu Suara, Drops of Jupiter}, and so far managed to do 1 hour in South Lawn. More sessions are coming.

No reason to be overcome by laziness.

Picture credit: Biblicism (Title: Don't Just Sit There!)

Thank You (10)

Expression of gratitude

God, thank You for my 5th semester result
No way could I have achieved this without Your guidance

I look first to You
Not to others
Not to myself
Because You're the source of my identity
You define me
I'm Your image

It was a difficult exam
And I sense H2A and H2B are above average
Or somewhere close
But even if not
Still I come with a very grateful heart

I give thanks
For each of the 80 lectopias
That I attentively absorbed
For all the past paper practices
For the group study sessions
And for the exam itself

I admit
I don't understand how
I could miss First Class Honours
But I've firmly resolved
To follow You only
Your voice that
Says

"This is the way, walk in it"

Update: For Sem5 '10, the H2A is 6 marks above average, while the H2B is 3 marks below. My score is +3.75 from the cohort weighted average.

Assorted (9)

This is one day late.

Melbourne

A

Haha, how ironic! I didn't have time to write a post yesterday (in the middle of winter break). Did some shopping in the morning, then went to settle some AMS paperwork and read a few pages of The 5 Love Languages (Singles Edition). After that, entertained a friend who came over to play Wii. At night, had steamboat for dinner (Tom Yam soup). My neck stiffness was pretty bad, I had to support my neck with my hand whenever I'm bending it.

B

Anyway, here's a short sharing on the most joy I had when giving:

• when I gave the Acer laptop and Nokia E65 to Mum earlier this year.
• when I gave one hundred dollars to Bro Freddy & Suzie as their marriage gift.
  
• when I gave books and presents to my cousins in KK.

C

Quotes from Day 15-21.

15. Everyone who gets tired sleeps.
We get tired.
∴We sleep.
16. Daniel was 10 times wiser than his peers and distinguished himself...
John the Baptist, the greatest prophet, was greater than Daniel.
The least in the Kingdom of God is greater than John.
If you are in the Kingdom of God, then why aren't you distinguishing yourself?
17. One of us is in trouble.
18. Take your mask off.
19. The pipeline to grace is faith. Are you supplied?
20. Grace. God’s empowerment that gives us the ability to go beyond our natural ability.
21. Why do it in your own strength?

Natural vs Supernatural (8)

The Holy Spirit's got me pumping

α

We have doctors to treat diarrhoea, injuries, some infections, headaches, acute pain, the common cold (maybe), cough and the like. And to keep doing the regular things in managing patients and preventing illnesses. Also, of course, fill in forms and write documentation.

But we have Christian doctors to heal the sick from HIV & AIDS, all kinds of cancer, chronic diseases (diabetes, dyslipidaemia, hypertension, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, chronic pain), leprosy, blindness, muteness, deafness, paralysis and all other such 'impossible' things. And to keep advancing medicine with breakthrough discoveries in biomedicine and healthcare. While they're at it, they better start documenting these extraordinary, supernatural stuff that's happening all around!

Ooh, I'm pumped for the Medical Elective in Hillsong 2010!

β

Quotes from Day 8-14.

8. Children don't believe in limits.
9. Cross over to FAVOUR [your God-given destiny]. But how?
10. 1>It's time to LEAD. Remember, leadership is a choice, not a position.
11. 2>Be strong and courageous.
12. 3>Obey everything you've been commanded.
13. 4>Focus.
14. We gotta be steadfast. Live by faith, not by sight.

Scripture reference:

Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them.
Be strong and very courageous.
Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you.
Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left.
Jos 1:6-7 NLT

52 days (7)

Favour

On the final night of PS2010 Conference, 'The Bishop' TD Jakes challenged us to meditate on Luke 2:52, "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and men." For the next fifty-two days. What I did each midnight was put up a quote that deeply struck me on my Facebook status. Here are some of them:

1. Now don't fall short.
2. He's my provider. Whether it's $5.20 or $52 or $252 or all my savings, He's my provider.
3. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.
4. He won't lead you to hardship that He hasn't given you the grace to go through with.
5. Can you think of yourself scoring straight H1's? Winning national scholarships? Being awarded the Nobel Prize? Sorry, but He's able to (help you) do infinitely more than that.
6. We’re thinking trees; God’s thinking seeds.
7. Sometimes God will withhold greatness to see if you're serious.

Scripture references:
"God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son," Abraham answered...Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means "the Lord will provide").
Gen 22:8, 13 NLT

"Blessed are those who believe without seeing me."
John 20:29 NLT

And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
1 Cor 10:13 NLT

Now to Him Who, by the action of His power that is at work within us, is able to carry out His purpose and do superabundantly, far over and above all that we dare ask or think.

Eph 3:20 AMP

"You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else."
Mark 10:42-44 NLT

Extras
Me serving in the Guest Services Ministry (my favourite rotation - carpark).
Thanks to Ibrahim for the Hudson's latte. I call that favour!
The start of week 14, Sem 5 '10.

15 Sets and 3 Reps (6)

1st midsem test.

What's the keyword for this semester? Repetition. If you look my post on the pre-clinical H1 hypothesis written last year, that was my study plan. Meaning, before the mid-sem test, I would have studied the lecture notes 3 times (actual lecture, revision lectopia, and pre-test lectopia). The fourth time would be around swot vac time, just before the finals.

But perhaps I was too ambitious with this plan - I could finish only 1 or 2 pre-test lectopias (3rd dose) while in Brisbane (and during the flight). At least revision lectopia were done (the 2nd dose).

Outside Cyber City on a Saturday midnight

I sure was there (Wellington Point)

Gunfight with my 12-year old cousin

Indan's grand-boys (Missing: Rokian)

15 sets = 15 lectures to cover (5 per week x 3 weeks). There were also 15 questions on the exam. And for the first time, I scored 100% on a test in med school. God always helps you, regardless of whether you're in Melbourne, Brisbane, or anywhere in the world.

Sitting for an exam the first thing on a Monday morning, right after a whirlwind trip to a cousin's wedding in Brisbane (flew out on Saturday morning, flew in the next evening) - that's one heck of a dramatic trip.

Rationalise? (5)

Whose life message?

Many times I'm tempted to rationalise my situation. My blessed situation, mind you, not just any situation. It's like apologising to people for the favour God has on my life. Which, as Pastor Russell preached, is something we should not do.

Illustration: Imagine Lothar the swordsman, always winning swordsmanship competitions. Demonstrations, slashing shows, or duels - you name it, he has won it. He competes against the best in his class, where the warriors could wield two swords and swing them faster than an average warrior could swing one. The yearly competition attracts the attention of many fighters from distant kingdoms, and the one who wins is highly respected. Lothar, of course, trains very diligently with the blade. His master constantly pushes him to his limit, and his inner circle of friends are all excellent swordsmen themselves.

Now substitute swordsman for your modern-day career, and swordsmanship for the specialised thing that you do. E.g. medicine - learning to treat/cure the human body. Or engineering - building structures for human activity. Or mathematics - solving unsolved conjectures. Or others. For me, I can't deny how much Holy Spirit is involved in my routine, daily tasks as I learn medicine. I wrote "Tuhan, tulung" in my DMF 7.3 lecture notes, where we were learning very specific mechanisms used by viruses to evade host immune systems, e.g. the Nef, Vpu and Tat protein of HIV which reduce MHC Class I expression on the membrane of infected T cells.

Someone might point out, hey, since you study so much anyway, don't you think it's inevitable that you'd score well? The world would say that the way to excellence is hard work. High intelligence would be a bonus. Anything else is due to luck. That may be some people's life message, but not mine.

I don't buy that. So many people work their backsides off without any real significant gains. A high intelligence just means that your benchmark is set higher. You have only yourself to compare against. More is demanded out of you - that's my take.

The essential ingredient, regardless, is God. He blesses all that I set my hands to. My effort bears more fruit because of His blessing. I become more disciplined because He gives me strength. Any deficiencies in my intellect will be filled by Him. In fact, He's so much more than just an ingredient. He's actually the Master Chef.

A Walk with Him (4)

Another one on perspectives.

You can think of life either as self-centred or Jesus-centred. Either you yourself dominate all your actions and reactions, or He guides all the processes when you make decisions. Either life throws every ugly incident at you alone, or you're facing it with Him faithfully by your side.

I'm mentioning extremes here, and there might be some middle ground of overlap, but I'm not concerned about that because this is not a rigorous academic paper; I'm just writing my heart out. You see, I'm going through a financially difficult time right now, and I'm making the effort to really save up while spending as little as possible. I went over my phone cap and was charged $112 instead of the normal $29 a couple of months ago. Last month it was around $55. I've got a winter trip where I'm allocating $500, but I only have around $400 now (excluding rent money). I'm actually still waiting for $240 to be deposited into my account (one, I was mistakenly overcharged, and two, I paid on my friends' behalf some time ago).

So for the last few weeks, I've been surviving on $18, $15, and $13 on food for the week (I didn't realise this until I checked my diary). Now, I can either see it as

• me suffering here in Melbourne, to the point that I need to severely restrict my spending

or

• that God has given me financial challenges to manage in order to learn deeper truths about Him. The fact that I managed to spend so little means that He has helped me with discipline, and has provided free food (Medieval party)/offers/discounts/specials.
  

I guess you know my choice. Just now in Safeway, I was actually thanking God for the specials (e.g. Weet Bix) this week. Just when I run out of Weet Bix, it's now about $1.20 cheaper than normal price. It may not be much, but since I always buy it when it's on offer, and considering my disposable income with which I'm working, then it becomes quite significant. It's turned from a solo $-saving journey into a walk with God.

p/s: I'm reading Robert Morris' The Blessed Life right now, and truly, there's so much to be thankful to our Creator for. There's a lot of trouble on the way, but it's a test to see how faithful we are to God. An opportunity for our faith to grow. For us to depend more and more on Him. To be joyful (and not just 'pressurised' or even 'accomplished') in giving. We give to give, not to get.

Look to who? (3)

Continuation

I won't defend myself
I'll look unto Jesus and let Him sort things out for me
His thoughts are higher
His ways are higher than ours
So I won't doubt His words: I have overcome the world

What is there for me to fear?
No job?
No scholarships/bursaries?
God is my provider
People may look down on me for being God-dependent
(like a substance)...

But I'm not ashamed of Him
Coz I don't want Him to be ashamed of me
And why should I be ashamed of The One
Who lived the greatest life
And died the greatest death on earth, ever?

God, I look to You despite my disappointments (no H1 in Sem1, H2A HP2, no H1 in Sem4). You are faithful even when I am not. It's by Your righteousness that I excel in academics, because my encounters with You change me from the inside out, forming the man I now am.

Best part is, it's not over yet. So Lord, do the supernatural again!

I openly receive Your favour upon me. Amen!

Picture credit: miggzs (DeviantArt)

Confession (2)

Written on Fri, 28 May 2010
(while revising week 3)

Father, my transcript is no longer my own
I let go of my claim/possession, and lay it at Your feet
My utmost is for Your highest
All this intense, dedicated, hard study is for the glory of Your name, Jesus

As I flashback
I remember asking for Your help when I did my Primary 1 final exam:
'God, help me get the best results'
...maybe I even asked for #1...
And truly, You gave it to me
You answered my prayer by giving to me
What I could never get on my own

It was Your grace that I experienced, Father
Your empowerment - divine
That gives me the ability to go beyond my natural ability
And I don't want it to end
I discovered that the more
I rise, the more I need You

Perhaps my consistent above-average final mark since Sem2 (MBBS)
Doesn't really say much about my ability

To the outsiders who casually look, yes,
Maybe that's their first impression
But upon closer observation, they'll discover
How much my strategy (its effectiveness)
Actually depends on God

Coz I don't just study 8 hours a day blindly
Neither do I just revise at the last minute,
Proving 'genius'/super memoriser status

I've mentioned before: What I cannot accomplish
by intelligence/IQ alone, I'll make up with extra effort/hard work
But that's not the whole story
It actually goes like this:

My deficiency in IQ/intelligence will be topped up by God's Holy Spirit
'He gives wisdom to the wise,
And knowledge to those who have understanding'
Daniel and his 3 colleagues were 10X wiser than the other 'wise men' of their day - why?
Because God gave them the empowerment
Similarly God gives me His empowerment
My lack of discipline/motivation/passion to 'sweat it out'/hit the books/memorise/study is overcome, likewise by God's strength
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'

Now what if I don't get a good score despite all this? (e.g. below/average mark, missing my target, not meeting requirements)

To be continued.

Overview (1)

Extract.

Right. It's the time of the year again when I write one post per day, reflecting on the semester that's just passed. So how was this semester?

In general, it's been a great experience. I'll take 2 perspectives: the course structure itself, and my personal involvement in it. The course is very cleverly designed to review all body systems that we've learned since Semester 1 (or maybe 2). The 1st PBL case was gastroenteritis, which was kind of an NDM review, but looking from Salmonella Typhimurium's point of view. Second (E. coli UTI, candidiasis) was a urinary tract/female genital tract review. Third (MRSA septic shock) was a circulatory system review while fourth (Pneumocystis jiroveci pneumonia) and fifth (atopy) were respiratory system reviews, all done earlier in Sem 3. Sixth (pneumococcal meningitis) was a nervous system review (Sem 4). Yeah, you get the vibe. But that wasn't all; the 3-hour weekly prac classes added so many more pathogens, pathogenetic mechanisms, and disease states to our knowledge base. It's a bit more of a spoon-feeding method compared to copying notes from computer prac classes, I must admit, but I was really happy with the didactic method of knowledge transfer. I really salute Sandra, Helen and the other tutors for being willing to put up with 5 sessions of the same practical class every week, for 10 consecutive weeks.

The course required 15 contact hours on average per week. Almost every other non-med student wouldn't believe that. But that's the essence of the "self-directed learning" philosophy behind Melbourne Uni's PBL-driven, systems-based, integrated medical curriculum (not sure how the newer Melbourne Model will be like). Our tutor did mention that a fully PBL-based course would have even fewer contact hours, no lectures, and total independence for students. In theory, I could be spending 100% of my free time studying and revising all we learned in class, including self-study for things not taught by our lecturers. But of course I didn't do that. My revising time probably varied from 10-20 hours per week, mainly involving listening to lectopia. Rooftop Lemur also broke up, giving me even more uncommitted time. So what else did I do?

• There was Urban Life and Guest Services which were (still are) routine. Served in 14 Sunday services.
  
• Lots of social (steamboat, potluck, house warming, CMDFA BBQ, Docklands, play kitchen).
• Also hospital/clinical school open days to help us choose which one to go to (lots of travel....to RMH, Western, Northern, St V).
• Brisbane trip--yay :)
  
• Went to my first Surgical Careers Night in Austin.
• UMMSS careers night.
  
• Attended friends' graduation ceremonies (always makes me anticipate mine!)
• A meeting with my sponsor.
• VSAP Charity Talent Show--the acrobatics were incredible!
  
• Cupcakes/'Share the Love' project. Tomo and Rie were unforgettable.
  
• Picnic at St Kilda beach.
• Dance audition (bet you've never heard of this).
• Wrote an application for a research bursary.
• 2 Carers Discipleship nights, 2 Combined Discipleship nights, 1 corporate prayer meet.
• Proofread 2 essays for a friend.

Ahhh, it actually feels good to extract this out from my week-view diary into 1 post. Makes me realise just how many occasions have happened in the past 4.5 months. Well, there's still more to come!