Sunday 12 July 2009

A Physical Relationship [III]

Short and sweet.



Armstrong said:
No knocked ups please... :D
Sadly I don't know what that means...guess it's got to do with my post titles?

Melissa (Wai Yun) asked:
by the way, can i ask u sth, can u actually like 2 girls at the same time? do u prefer any one of them? and is choosing one of them as ur partner very difficult?
Yes, I can sometimes have feelings for 2 girls at the same time. Yes, I will prefer 1 (and it may bounce btwn the 2 of them with time). Yes, it's difficult to choose. And it gets very complicated.

I've never officially "chosen" someone to be my special girlfriend/partner, so I'm still learning about that, but I have some thoughts on it. One thing I always bear in mind: I'm meant to enable, to build, to set free. Not to restrict. I try to see everything based on that background. So whatever I do, it's for that girl's God-given destiny. But how do I know that? Only God can tell. So I keep asking and seeking Him, faithfully.

Easy words to type out. But honestly it's hard to live that out. Why? Because emotions are not as reasonable as strict logic. Get what I mean? Logic says to me: I should only go for an intimate relationship if it's indeed the Maker's plan. But emotions say that I like K so much! Intensely, passionately, deeply. Whenever she's around, my whole world centres on her. Heh, I could go on and on dramatizing this, but let's not. Then why not just strip away all emotions? Because it makes us human (think about machines and robots).

It probably went on for around 4 months, a tug-of-war within me. Although it got me into some trouble, I'd like to remember it as the period of learning. Learning, as in, more meaningful than just being taught by someone (because I played my part). What's more, it's learning by experience, not just by words and thoughts.

My decision: No. It was just a physical relationship. I was attracted by the outside without taking the pain to discover what's on the inside. Looking back, it could never have happened anyway. No, not me and K.

Picture credit: silvdeetea

1 comment:

iamlz said...

Not trying to ask you to fool around, but, why not give yourself and her a chance, if both of you are fond of each other?