Thursday, 2 July 2009

What I saw

An overdue post that I had wanted to write some time ago...

God showed it to me at least twice in Semester 2 2008, during church service. I saw two H1's in my imagination (probably what Kris Vallotton calls "visions of the mind"). I guess it's one of the ways how He communicates with us. After asking it from Him, and being shown the mental picture, I cried. Do I even deserve this?

It's not the first time God spoke to me about my exam result. Last semester's result was prophesied to me half a year earlier when I saw three H1's descending like glittering stars (also in church on Sunday...why 3? Maybe because NDM is worth 3 subjects). For my SPM - which really is the first step in my uni life journey - God spoke to me in prayer about giving me eleven A's.

So where did the result come from, me or Him? Still to this day I think there's God's part, and there's mine. It's conditional, and perhaps, it is possible for it to 'fail' in human terms. Does that mean that God is not faithful? Well, honestly, from what I've experienced about God, He's the most faithful person in the universe. Usually humans are the ones who walk away from what they've been promised. How many times has God personally said to each of the kings of Israel: "If you walk before Me as your father David walked...then I will establish the throne of your kingdom over Israel forever". And how many times have each of them not fulfilled these conditions?

Looking back over the past semester, I must say that it took a lot of hard work on my part to make the promise a reality. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of devotion. To whom? To The One, because He's the Giver of Life Abundant. The only meaning that I find in all this hard work is that it's pleasing Him, by making use of everything He's given to me - place in Med, house in Carlton, food everyday, a lot of free uncommitted time, enough money, skills to read, write, count, and solve problems, etc. Obedience to His authority is the highest form of worship, therefore I see every choice in my life on that background: am I obeying His voice right now? As long as I am (and yes, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak), I consider it meaningful and worthwhile. Heck, in fact my own opinions should fade in contrast to His approval. Because the only thing that matters is what God thinks, not man.

The night before my result came out, while in bed, in my imagination I saw God putting something in my hands, and I held it tight. It was the double H1's. It's the word of God fulfilled in my life. It's from Him, and for Him only.

Seriously, if I did not choose to submit to His will for my life - if I was unwilling to give up the little mini-commitments that only distract from my direction, like the girl(s), fun in computer games, impure fantasies, etc - if I did not walk in His ways, this wouldn't have come to pass.

And now that it has, I choose what Paul chose: I turn from the past and turn to what's ahead, looking unto God, the Author and Finisher of my Faith.

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