Monday, 20 July 2009

...Turned around

After the sad news.

The SMS from Dad arrived at 5.03 am Melbourne time. My aunt passed away. When people ask me whether I'm close to her, I'd say not personally, but I'm close to her kids - my cousins. Her son (eldest), at the age of 13, was the first to teach me guitar. Her first daughter was my closest cousin during my primary and secondary school years, probably because only the two of us were similar in age and lived in the city. Her youngest daughter is probably my little sister's favourite childhood friend.

It's the first day of 4th semester for me, and I'm surely excited to learn Neuroscience. But today was perhaps a day of mixed feelings. Maybe it began yesterday at 5.16 pm when Mom called me and told me the urgent news that Auntie was hospitalised.

When I woke up today and saw the message on my phone, I turned to the wall and cried out to God. I was shocked. It's the 3rd death back home since I came to Melbourne. My grandma (Dad's mom) passed away earlier this year, just before third sem started. One of the kids in Sunday School died in a monsoon drain last year, when he was about 8 years old. God, this makes me sad.

I told this to a friend while on the train ride just now. Can't believe how liberating it is! I always see people quoting: shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half sorrow. Yes, indeed. My mood is turned around. I see the meaning in life once again.

I see God as the source of all happiness. He gives purpose in all that I do. The music that I make with my acoustic guitar is meaningful because of who He is to me - hey, isn't He the originator of all creativity? My intellectual pursuit in learning about neurological diseases - e.g. a kid who can't straighten his ring and little finger, and has trouble clenching it - is made enjoyable. Why? Because I realise that God gave this work to me - the task to study, understand and eventually treat people who are sick. My exercise and workout is made worthwhile, because I'm tweaking this flesh that I have for tip-top physical (and mental) function - for His work.

It's all because of Him.


LZ said...

may she RIP..

melwy said...

a very good insight in ur last para, somehow death teaches us not to look at the world and life from our limited point of view but from a bigger perspective..
ur post reminds me of the the sunday sermon i just heard yesterday, on ecclesiastes. basically death makes us all equal, no matter how great or how small v r, whether v r human or animal, rich or poor, strong or weak, good or evil, cos no one can escape it, but thank goodness, that God is a God who judge, who discriminates btw good or bad, and who looks beyond death...
hope u r alrite by now and be a good doc :)