...Broken

Bits from "Romance touches"

On one hand is the desire to “own”, to “be loved”, “be cared”, or whatever passionate words are used to describe that feeling of being in a relationship. That’s pampering myself. It’s self-centredness. What about her life? For goodness’ sake, she has tonnes of male fish in her sea of bachelors. Tonnes. And what about her future? What about setting her free? Her liberty? Letting her have all the opportunity to best develop herself as fully as possible, fulfilling her potential? And what about my future?

Lot’s of deep questions there. Abstract and futuristic questions of personal and interpersonal development. Not just mine, but also hers.

I find it interesting how I've always held on to some ideals when it comes to romance. Illidan always wanted Tyrande, and he lived for ages with that desire. The fact that his own twin brother Malfurion was the one for her must have driven him crazy. As for me, the ideal I held was loyalty to one.

It stems from a pure motive. But when it is held on to in a strict, rigid way, almost ritualistic, then I must ask myself: Why? Why hold on? Will there still be a reward to this loyalty? In fact, who to hold on to? If the Giver of Life came to do exactly what his name says, then why should I hold on to another?

I know someone who had always been single all his life. He had a few casual, temporary crushes here and there, but nothing serious. I asked him:

"So you take pride in your singlehood?"
"Yeah, I won't fall for any girl."

"*Sigh* Well, that's the pride of life." (and Illidan's pathetic story again)

But you know what I recently learned about him? Well, last year he liked a girl, more so than any previous ones. It probably went on for about 3 months. He told her nothing, but told his Counselor everything. He said, now it's different. I'm not holding too tightly anymore. A release, you know? Like no control. For the first time, I'm broken. Broken to my Maker.

I went, wow. I feel what you feel. Why not be broken to the girl first? You know why not? Because humans fail. Illidan found that Tyrande fails. But I've found that The One I'm broken to doesn't.

And there's no other way I'd have it.
OK, Illidan was an imaginary demon hunter, a Night Elf (not a human), but you get what I mean.
Picture credit: DeviantArt