Quote

Motivation is an elusive animal that all organizations want to capture.

-Steven Silbiger, The Ten-Day MBA (1994)

Picture credit: amazon.com

Of cats and laureates

A top cat?

Controlling the migration of such people [talented scientists] is a bit like herding cats, a rather useless exercise. It does nonetheless help to offer quality cat food (funding) and plenty of it if you want to attract the attention of a top cat.

-Peter Doherty, The Beginner's Guide to Winning the Nobel Prize

I found this to be really amusing! "Attention of a top cat". LoL. This became a self-motivating question for me while I went jogging today: Are you a top cat? If you fall, do you rise again? Do you keep pushing to your limits? If you have to suffer in order to fulfill your destiny, would you? How willing are you? And once people do recognise you as a top cat, how would you redefine the top cat standard?

Picture credit: birmancatclub.co.uk

Moment of Shock (1)

Part XIX.

Is this really it?

Waited till 3am for the result to come out.

Kind of surprised to see the outcome; it wasn't what I expected.

Lower than my target, and it wasn't what I heard Papa say.

Still now it's an ongoing question that I still ask.

Even if it is it, then I still seek Him.

There's gotta be a bigger lesson
that I haven't yet
realised.

An Idea Unwritten (2)

Part XVIII.

"Unassuming"

1

"When you've changed, I'll tell you." That was early 2009, said by my UL leader. But I was very anxious back then, thinking, why can't I know exactly how/what to change now?

Within a few months she said: Hey, you've changed so much, you know; what made you change?

Now I must admit that those few months were a bit different than previous months.

2

Flashback 1 year - I'm in 1st year of uni, living away from parents, free to take care of all my time and money. No nagging, no orders, no instructions. I thought to myself, God, you blessed me so much to live life. Soon enough, the thought turned into: Hey, what am I here for, really? So I set myself some targets. Straight H1's in school would set me apart - make me get to the 1% of the right hand bell curve. After all, I'm already part of a social class. What's more prestigious than Melbourne Uni? And what's more exclusive than Medicine? Now if I just become a little bit more of an over-achiever (as if I'm not already one), then the world's eyes would be set upon me.

3

When K and I arrived for the party, all I wanted was to look good. Then she asked what "backslide" meant, and I wanted to explain it to her as silently possible. Because not knowing that basic term is a shame in people's eyes!

Happened later with N too. I had wanted the calls, the talk, the walk, etc, to be as cool, smooth and flowing as could possibly be imagined. I had certain assumptions about how it's meant to be. It killed my unassuming attitude.

4

Looking back, I clearly see these changes inside of me. From who I was, to the hardened self, and back to the unassuming me. It's been a fight, really. I admit, it's not easy to know that you're wrong until after the incident. Heck, I might even be wrong in some areas now, still being shaped and moulded by the Higher Power. But the greatest thing to realise is that He is on your side. He's faithful even when you're not.

Question is, would you respond with an unassuming attitude?

Picture credit: familycentersinc.org

Battle of 'the real world' (3)

Part XVII.

Neuroscience - This is it

A

Hmmm, let this first half be "Battle of Photographs", because that is essentially what the Prac exam is. I reckon it's a great paper too, although I did make a mistake because I didn't know the answer then. People said this paper was hard, and that's mainly because it was ultra-specific. That's the usual method of catching med students 'off guard'.

B

As for the combined OSCE and Neurological/Musculoskeletal Physical Exam, it ended on a high note for me. After finishing around 2pm, I didn't have to wait hours like I did last semester. I think I covered the content well for the symptom of tension-type headache, although I wish I could be more fluent with my questioning and "conversation". I could also have improved on the fluency of my answer for the doctor's question at the end. And as bonus, perhaps I could have differentiated between infrequent, frequent and chronic subtypes of TTH. But oh well, it was a superb exam overall. Surprising thing for the physical was, I ended before the 6-minute bell, and as I was about to leave, the actor said, "There's another one" (1 minute later). So we chatted about going back home, holiday plan, etc.

C

Summer truly is a liberating time. No external commitments, study loads, other-imposed duties, etc. It's all from you - i.e. you decide what you wanna spend your time on. And I've amazed myself because of my discipline in exercising/working out during the past 2 weeks. Just today I was doing shrugs in CS gym. Never knew that I could shrug 20 kilos! Now time to see the traps grow =)

This Uni Life (4)

Part XVI.

α

The Pre-Clinical H1 Hypothesis

Repetition for Lectures

That means:

O - pre-read

1 - attend lecture ± Lectopia prn (as needed)

2 - Lectopia (pre-test)

3 - grand round

Hunger: Ask, Seek, Knock for PBL's

On Mondays and Thursdays - 2 sessions now...not just 1!

Maybe 1 day of overnight (considering I've been doing it a few times anyway...and then there's on-call to be conditioned for)

Consolidate/Coagulate/Sediment for Prac

Take the trouble (e.g. spinal cord & brainstem; took some time, didn't they?), let it sink.

'Precocious' for HP

Start early in all aspects: ICM, physical exam, medical Hx OSCE, past years.

Coactivators

• do group study
• teach people
• be taught

β

Finally writing this from my laptop again! It was gone for a few days, unable to load Windows XP, and I'm still not sure why. Anyway, I got the installer CD from Pau yesterday, and thankfully Dad has got a valid XP Pro CD key. I'm also grateful for the C: and D: partitioning. Otherwise all my writings and excel sheets would have been reset to 0.

Picture credit: mame.mu.oz.au

Battle of Spectrum (5)

Part XV.

Paper Review 3

It was a wide-range paper spanning almost the entire Sem4 curriculum. Hence "spectrum". But I did realise the lack of pharmacology questions.
(Now I might be caught for doing this, but I'm not so worried)
Listed below are my "confidence" levels for each question:
1. Stroke +++++
2. Facial n. ++++
3. Spinal cord, L5, sup. fib. n. +++
4. Secondary amenorrhoea +++
5. 69 y/o, dementia ++
6. Contraceptives, PI +
7. Pharyngotympanic tube, epiglottis +
8. Red chilli, watery eyes, red cheeks, ↑HR +++
9. Population control +
10. Adrenal gland ++++
11. UMN, LMN, tendon jerk reflex +++
12. Chromosomal abnormalities +

#9 is definitely the most jaw-dropping question I've had this semester. But as they say, expect the unexpected.

Anyway, the night before I was doing forward-moving declarations, believing that I'll get an H1 for this paper's breakdown. This never happened before. Usually my PBL paper brought my score down (it had been H2B and P). Despite feeling not confident in the natural, I'm trusting the supernatural to bring this through. So it can't happen by myself alone. Well, what if it turns out that it does happen? Then that's the extra push/pull enabling me in the impossible. Nothing is impossible for those who believe.

Yeah, I'm waiting on that.

Lectopia Countdown (6)

Part XIV.

I see the light (the end)

It was 3 weeks before my final paper that I decided to start Lectopia-ing all the 70+ lectures again. At 2X speed, at best this would take 30 minutes, or shorter if the lecturer was kind. You might be thinking, 70 lectures to listen to - that's crazy! But believe me, I had been rocking it back and forth in my head, while I was deciding on the most effective way to fully cover everything in Sem4. Then I realised, making up my mind itself was taking precious time off from revising!

So I just set my mind to it, and managed to finish 1.5 weeks of stuff in week 13; 5.5 in week 14; and 5 during Swot Vac. So that was 12 weeks of stuff; so I'm left with week 7 (Neuropharmacology) and 12 (Steroid hormones & endocrine glands). And to this day I look back to 27 Oct 09, the day I did 9 lectures - including the fearsome brainstem - and 40 midsem MCQ's. By the way, how on earth did I squeeze almost all of the PBL mechanisms and some Histo stuff during those moments?

Now it has been a tremendous accomplishment that I'm really thankful for. But I do wish that (next time) I'll finish the lecture synopses.

Picture credit: revjavadude.files.wordpress.com

Battle of Specifics (7)

Part XIII. No more cranial nerve

Paper Review 2

Awww... I thought the HP exam was fine, OK, all right. Yup. While I was able to answer most of the questions, I realised that I still have loopholes in my knowledge base (e.g. usage rate of withdrawal method is less than 5%). The medial brain structures involved in memory include basal forebrain and anterior thalamus. I forgot a lot of these stuffs (specifics), yeah, but that's expected I suppose. That's why I don't aim for perfection (100%), but for excellence. I just hope that my marks are ≥ 80% (that's what I declared the day before).

God, help. Just like You helped me in my study sessions. Just like You helped bump my CRL MCQ into a high H1 last sem. Fulfil Your Word of excellence to me, Lord. I ask in Jesus' name. And I go a step further now; increase my faith as I go through this storm that is my exam. I wanna learn what You're saying to me. It's all for You; it's all about You, Daddy!

We're under attack! (8)

Part XII. Hypoglossal nerve

Writings to Papa 2
Retreat to Him

God, I'm tempted to feel bad about myself now... to lose hope... but You know what, my eyes are fixed on You - on You alone. I'll honour You tomorrow with my time. For I know that time spent with You is very powerful.
I know You are able, my God. I know Your love never fails. I face my exam with boldness that comes from You, HolySpirit. None shall separate Your love from me. So there's nothing for me to fear.

It seems like every Swot Vac and exam period brings something new to me - it's probably related to the "unassuming" attitude (an idea I'm writing soon). So for me, what's new is that God really is a fortress, a tower, a mother base. You know, when your army is falling weak and you've gotta return for protection. Return to where? That's God.

It's funny sometimes - I'm studying for more than 1 hour straight, tired and a bit saturated ("threshold"), and I look up to God, ready to complain and let it all out, and He says: Keep going. And He points down at my lecture notes. The race isn't over yet.

Really, He's been the source of my focus and attention during each study time that I have.

Picture credit: tolkienforums.com

Battle of Heat (9)

Part XI. Accessory nerve

Paper Review 1

The most dramatic thing about CSGD Paper 1 (100 MCQ) was the 3 marks getting saved. Overall, I felt great with the paper. I did the usual tricks like marking the answer during reading time, speeding up, doing some of the last questions, etc.

However, there were a few ultra-specific questions in the paper. One by the pharmacologists was asking which drug was least likely to cause sedation, but the options were all drug names! I'm not sure how I remembered that Fluoxetine was a type of SSRI, but that got me the right answer. Coz I was thinking, SSRI's are anti-depressants, and the lecture notes pointed out that these drugs don't sedate you, so I reasoned, yup, this must be it.

It was a good start for the exam period.

Harap sama Ko ja (10)

Part X. Vagus nerve

Writings to Papa 1
In Sabahan Malay

Thank You aa, RohKudus
Bagus butul oh Kau.
Susa mau percaya ni, tapi begitula hidup,
harap sama Ko slalu.
Hebat ni.
Memang H1 la result sia ni kali ni.
Lagipun Ko suda kestau sama sia ba kan.
Apa lagi, bikin la =)
Sia ikut ja sama Ko ni.
Susa hati, takut, menyesal, kecewa...ahh...
Macam teda ba ni kalo sama Ko.
Tulung sia, ah, RohKudus. Mimang mustahil ni
mo hidup macam Tuhan Yesus kalo bukan Ko
yang tulung. Sia yakin ja...sia mau kasi
puji sama Yesus Kristus ja. Kasi agung,
kasi tinggi...sama Tuhan ja. Oh, haleluyah Tuhan
Ko mimang hebat la.
Sia sembah Ko.
Ko satu urang ja.
Yah!!!

12.20am - Thu, 15 Oct 09

Come What May (11)

Part IX. Glossopharyngeal nerve

Speak life!

Why didn't I score well for the 2nd midsem? (Only for the CSGD/science subject though - a 6/10; while scored 4/5 for the HP/psychology subject, which I'm happy for.) Maybe it was a hard test to begin with. To compound that, maybe I didn't get as much preparation as I ought to - there were a lot of things that I took part in the week before the test. And what I wish for is that activities like dinner with buddies, conferences, volunteering activities, blood donations, and helping out friends - that these no longer become a hindrance to me from scoring H1's. That's the life that I want to see next year. I wanna be so prepared, so ahead of my studies, that these things won't be an excuse for a low score - heck, I'm believing that I'll no longer get low scores!

Now that's an uncomfortable life to live, because I realise that laziness usually comes easier than diligence.

That's why I'm declaring things here!

It will all be good (12)

Part VIII. Vestibulocochlear nerve

Full & occupied nights

γ

So yesterday, there was the SoCA showcase at Lower Plenty (somewhere near Bondurra/Heidelberg) at 7pm. I came just in time to see the last song performed, and that was at 9.30pm. What took me so long?

From Williamstown, I reached Melbourne Central at 7pm. So I was already late to start with. Worse, the train I wanted only arrived at 7.22pm. I was meant to stop at Rosanna. However, as I sat in the train with my little story book, I dozed off, and when I was awake again, it was already at Eltham, about 5 stops from Rosanna. That was past 8pm. So I hopped on the train going back from where I was, and reached the station. And it's not over yet.

I needed to take a bus to reach the building where the showcase was held. I missed the 8.15pm bus, while the 8.45pm bus did not take the route I wanted. The next bus was 9.15pm. That's why I reached so late!

δ

Flashback to week 8 (2nd week of Sept), the week after camp.

Monday was hangout day with Dinesh, my former academic rival for 3 (four?) years in high school. Dinesh, still remember Ms J saying: "My left and my right"? (She was handing out report cards in rank order...and we were sitting right next to one another, and there was no way I could beat your score; usually my Bio and Sej brought my average down.)

Tuesday was Brian's birthday. It's quite random to play his game of self-questionnaire. Even more random, I then made a song out of it. It's called Paddington Bear, using the tune of Everywhere (Avril Lavigne) - so it's not totally original.

We had Budok and Nad's surprise birthday on Wednesday night. Also, I did the sleep research that night. It's a project by Dr Chris Worsnop, our Sem3 Respiratory Physiology/Clinical Medicine lecturer.

Had dinner with Shafiq, Izul, Naseef and Jason at Nando's on Thursday. It was really funny, because while I wanted to avoid spending $6-7 at Intersection Cafe with Syarul (wanted to eat at home), I ended up spending twice the amount somewhere else.

Apollo Underground II at Richmond was on Friday night. Then Jie drove me to the Corporate Prayer Meet at Collingwood. Wan Ting sent me home. What an eventful evening.

And on Saturday, after giving out cupcakes to the homeless with Novi, she asked me to give out the leftovers (2 big boxes!).

It's Best to Obey (13)

Part VII. Facial nerve

Pit stops, not sleeping bunny!

α

My diary entry for 9th Sept (09/09/09) reads: started playing Travian. I'd log into the computers in the ERC to give instructions like build a barracks or train an army of Theutates Thunder. My time in between classes is used to care for my village. I employed c69's Offensive Gauls strategy.

But it took so much of me, it's almost like a 1-month-old infant! I needed to care for it before the Apollo gig at Grand Central Hotel, during iftar at Malaysian Hall, and for almost all of my remaining free time. It drained all the remaining bits of the finite attention that I still had.

My diary entry one week later read: wanna quit Travian.

So I got rid of my account.

I admit that it wasn't easy, but when God tells me to stop, I set in my head that it's best for me to obey.

β

By the way, as for today's story, I had a good time with Jie and Kelvin at Williamstown beach. Walked around a bit, enjoying the cool sea breeze, had the signature fish and chips, and made the sea gulls fight for our last piece of fries.

Earlier, in the lab, we re-probed last week's protein analysis membrane (Western blot), with puzzling results. I'm also glad to have helped Syarul with some cash supply.

The story goes on in the evening as I went to a place in the northern suburbs, interestingly called Lower Plenty. I'll save it up for tomorrow.

Picture credit: travian.com.au

Who First Gave? (14)

Part VI. Abducens nerve

Don't hold things too tightly

A

I've already mentioned how I was blessed with a $15 per month rebate because someone decided to buy my mobile broadband modem. And how a researcher contacted me for a project where I was paid $37.50 per hour. Ooh, but that's not all.

Let's talk about food.

• During the fasting month, plenty of iftar's (breaking fast at sunset) were held. I love the sweet baklava.
• Our stage props team boss treated us to brunch one fine Saturday morning.
• My archi friend treated me to some delicious cakes just before he left Aus.
• Another archi friend treated me Vietnamese food in Richmond.
• A 3rd archi friend treated me with lamb kebab. Tells you something about my archi friends, eh?
• A friend (non-archi this time) treated me curry noodles. Nice.
• Two free pizzas during Uni Open Day week (pooled 3 vouchers).
  
• Free food in the GPCE (General Practitioners' Conference & Exhibition).

Apart from food:

• My rent was supposed to go up by $100 per month. Then we found this place that's $30 cheaper. In effect, that's minus $130 monthly.
• Cash rate recently went up by 0.50 points in 2 consecutive months. That means more income from my savings!
• Very cheap flight tickets (KL > KK | KK > KL | KL > Melb). Only Melb > KL was a bit expensive. But that's in return for lab work experience!
  

And the invaluable:

• Basically these are opportunities that come in an unpredictable manner. Like the visit to the RACS (Royal Australasian College of Surgeons), where I "did" laparoscopic (keyhole) surgery on a plastic model.
• Staying with several housemates gave me access to Clinical Medicine (Kumar & Clark), Pathologic Basis of Disease (Robbins & Cotran) and Pharmacology (Rang & Dale).
  
• Learning western blot, cell culture and ELISA at Howard Florey.

B

Hence I live out the life of giving. Time, money, energy and opportunity. Like KidShapers Conference, blood donation to Red Cross, Mei Ling's song, PlanetUni stage props team, and church guest services team.

For who first gave, if not him?

Picture credit: origins-photography.co.uk

The Excellent Life (15)

Part V. Trigeminal nerve

NO₂ "NOS"

3

Oh, how easily we give up in life!
Like being lazy and not pushing myself when studying
And then
As though to make up for it
Act as if I'm studying all the time
Not talking to people
Confining myself
Not loving my friends
A life focussed on 'me' only

Hey, imagine if Jesus had said:
"I'm sick of living a holy life submitted to God."
"I gotta take a break."
"Father, I quit."

If that happened, then his blood would not have its power to redeem (to buy) us. We wouldn't have eternal life. In other words, I'm going to hell.

But Jesus didn't allow that to happen! Every moment in His life was a special moment, holy and acceptable to God. And because of that, we could once again connect to God as kids of one Daddy, and that brings so much more meaning to life.

Go Ask The One (16)

Part IV. Trochlear nerve

Top Speed

1

This probably should have been posted 3 days ago...but I went out that night with 2 friends, had dinner, played Wii, had a very interesting conversation, etc. Flashback time: I was busy with involvements and activities around the 4th week of this sem, and at 11am on Monday, there was my MCQ test to start off the week. You know what I really love telling people? That despite all the hustle and bustle of life, your result comes out well and good. I got 9/10 and 5/6.

2

Back to the present: You know what I love even more? Telling people that it's really God doing His good work in and through me. How, and why does He do this? Well, when Jesus came as human, He began His countdown to your redemption and mine. His goal was the cross, because only His pure blood could cleanse the rebellion of humanity from a life sentence in hell. Think of the corollary: if Jesus walked out of God's will for His life, His blood would not be precious anymore. Just in case you think this could not happen, well, it actually could. It's all too easy to remember that Jesus is 100% God; but He's 100% man too!

He had the same basic needs as everyone else - food, shelter, clothing. We don't know how much stuff (things, or wealth) He had to start out with, but we do know what He did with what He had. While He had his human free will, He decided to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and He did only what His Father wanted. I guess He faced many temptations in life. So don't think you're alone! Think about your own life, in 1 day, how easy is it to fall or succumb to temptation? How easy is it for us to focus on things other than obeying what God is immediately saying to us? Think: if we're not focussed on God anymore, we won't carry out His will for our lives, because we won't hear His voice saying, "this is the way, walk in it". Yet Jesus lived every moment of his life thinking of God and obeying Him. He was tempted in every way, but He never sinned.

The devil comes only to kill, to steal, and to destroy, but Jesus comes so that we may have life, and life to the full. He probably went through a lot of exams as a Jewish student as well, so he went through every bit of stress we feel as students. So why not ask Him how He did it?

Dream of a child (17)

Part III. Oculomotor nerve

Momentum

Back in primary school, we filled in forms with questionnaires like "Hobbies", "Ambition/Occupation", etc. For ambition, I've always put saintis, doktor, guru. Today I'll talk about the scientist part.

One cool thing about the Melbourne MBBS/BMedSc that I'm part of is its 1-year of AMS. You get to do in-depth research on a topic of your choice. Probably a bit like the EE in IB, but you get to write 10-12,000 words instead of 4,000.

I picked a lab-based research project under the unit Advanced Neuroscience, because the brain is so fascinating. Lab work can be a bit tedious and repetitive (as I discovered while learning how to prepare the gel for Western blot this morning), but I think someone's gotta do it. And I'm happy to be that someone. Brilliant inventions like iMacros only come after lots of tedious manual work filling in online forms. Online forms only come after lots of redundant paper form-filling. Paper printing only comes after lots of human hand-scribing. We could go on and on about this, but I hope you get the point. I'm positive that lab analytical techniques will be more sophisticated, automated, and time-saving in the future. In the mean time, let's make do with what we've got.

Have you noticed just how much of human activity (e.g. the inventions mentioned) is brain-dependent? That's why I think it's so awesome. At the same time it's so mysterious, because there are so many uncharted territories in brain research, both physiologically and pathologically. Just yesterday I met someone who's finding out about the role of estrogen in the brain. So how do I select what to look for? Because if I just do it randomly, then 99.9% of the time I'll probably find nothing. This is where Big Papa comes in. I believe that he will specifically tell me what to experiment on, how to do it, e.g. what substances, at what concentrations, to use. Also how much time and energy to spend on the specific experiment. I'll hear a voice behind me saying: "This is the way, walk in it." And when the time comes to present, he'll tell me how to report the findings and relate it to his leadership role.

Hence one of the tag words for me next year is "Discovery". It'll be supernatural.
MBBS/BMedSc=Bachelor of Medicine & Bachelor of Surgery & Bachelor of Medical Science
AMS=Advanced Medical Science | EE=Extended Essay | IB=International Baccalaureate

Full Wednesday (18)

Part II. Optic nerve

Take the Turns

The tagline is meant to mean "focus". Like when you're taking an S-shaped turn on a racing track (hammerhead), take it smoothly while staying on the asphalt. For me, the racing target was the mid-semester exam on week 4.

To make things harder, the previous week's study material was the brainstem. BRAINSTEM. While I did make a good start by already knowing that CNVII (Cranial Nerve 7) is the facial nerve, and it has 5 terminal branches in the face, I didn't expect to learn its medial motor nuclei and the sensory nuclei on the sides! And there are 12 cranial nerves to learn, not just 1 or 2!

I don't know whether skipping the Wednesday lecture was a good idea. But what I was thinking then was, "I'll make up for it". But of course it wasn't for nothing that I skipped it. With Cheryl and Denise, I went out to one of the pizza places in the city.

After that was the trip to the church office at Surrey Hills to have a look at what we've got for the stage props, as Camp is coming up. So I took some photos of the stuff.

Back in the city again. I headed for the Med building common room, where we had practice for Apollo rock band. The Open Day performance is coming in less than 2 weeks.

I left the band early for Urban Life. That's how it's been lately; I'd go off at 6.30 for half of the practice sessions. And so far, it's working fine.

Sam and I went to the Archi building after UL. CSGD lecture 3.3 on the central control of the autonomic nervous system had to made up for.

It was a full Wednesday lasting from 9.00am to 3.30am.

Recollection v2 (19)

Part I. Olfactory nerve

Perfect Launch

As I did last semester, I'll do a series of writings on this semester (4th out of total 12), as I wait for result day.

It begun on a high note. Last semester's astronomical result fuelled me to keep going with the momentum: pre-reading, PBL research, lectopia a week after, etc. Outside of the academic world, I was getting more involved in various stuff. There was RMIT orientation going on, and publicity for PlanetUni was kicking off. I remember seeing Wycliffe, Eunice and other OCF Melb City people. Also the magicians at the booth/table next to us. I was impressed; they're pretty good with cards.

That weekend was Beautiful Woman 2009 - goes without saying that God's presence was amazing. For me, it brings more meaning to the phrase: Lebih baik satu hari di pelataran-Mu, daripada seribu hari di tempat lain. I had Richard check my neuroanatomy notes as I recalled the different foramina in the skull and the cranial nerves going through them. Intense, eh?

Guest Services Team 3 was also becoming a family for me. That Sunday, at HiSense Arena, it was interesting to help out Juanita with the free bus rides. She said:

• Boots, handbag -- church girls. It's a giveaway.
• Don't feel embarrassed if they turn you down, you won't see them again; Melbourne's too big.

No doubt it was also a time of emotional stress for me. It's funny how easily you feel deeply attracted someone. Many of my June and August posts are about relationships.

Yet storms are there for you to grow stronger. The tests in life are meant to be passed. Don't give up just because you don't get it the first time around.

3 marks saved!

(My blogging activity is coming back on)

The 100-MCQ paper was fine. I finished 30 min early (given time 2 hrs), and Papa told me, "I'm gonna show you some mistakes that you made". First I checked the answer sheet. I found that I marked 2 answers on question 98, and didn't answer 99. Haha. Next I checked the answer sheet and the question sheet. For question 58, I circled "C" on the question paper but shaded "D" in the answer sheet. Amazing God. Then I started going through a few of the questions, especially those "easy, obvious, 30-second" questions. Question #34 (around there), I picked B. I read it again, and realised my mistake. It's meant to be "right hand", not "left hand". It's funny because in anatomy, "right" is normally patient's right (facing me), so it's on my left. I think that made me confused. So there, 3 marks saved!

Humans vs Chimps

So you've got a photographic memory?


Hah! I finally beat the freakin' 8/10 average (OK, so I had some practice).

To be honest, I was surprised that chimps could be trained to do this working memory task. But no, it does not make chimps any smarter than us. Working memory is just one of the brain's many functions.

Try it out. It's not as easy as it seems.

If you're stumped, I have a tip to improve your score.
Sit further from the screen.

Intelligence

Is more than your IQ score.
Something inspiring from Tony Buzan

According to Buzan, there are ten measures of intelligence: creative, verbal/linguistic, logical/mathematical, visual/spatial, musical/rhythmic, physical, social, intrapersonal/interpersonal, spiritual and sexual. And there is currently no test that could measure all kinds of intelligence, as Buzan demonstrates with an example:

A young girl took the standard IQ test, where she had to cross out the odd one of the following: a piece of coal, a coal mine, a daffodil and a fireplace.

She crossed out the fireplace.

When asked why she had picked the wrong – according to the test – answer, she replied. “Well, I know that I probably should have crossed out the daffodil, but I thought the picture was so pretty, I didn’t want to destroy it.”

“Here, the girl scored poorly on that question, when, in fact, she showed great naturalist and esthetic intelligence AND she knew the right answer as well,” Buzan says. “Surely you can play the piano with two fingers, but it gets really beautiful, when you play it with all ten.”

Beautiful, isn't it?

Why limit your creativity by obsolete man-made rules?

Original article here.
Picture credit: media.us.macmillan.com

Digging stuff

On a philosophical note

Ever experienced a time that seems so silent in life - just another simple, repetitive routine - that you're not anticipating anything soon? Like digging without finding anything?

Imagine, suddenly you start hitting something. Eh? Have you been afraid of what people say to you? Hmmm. Have you limited your dreams and ambitions to just replace people - i.e. becoming what someone has already become? There are already plenty of brain surgeons in the world. Mmmm. On the road with friends, would you rather let go of the accelerator, or keep a steady foot to pace them up?

I think everyone likes "Aha!" moments. I do anyway. But I also realise that some people are afraid of them, because they're costly. Moments like these come like revelation to us, and with each one of them we're challenged to rise and step up. It's a choice though. And the question is, what choice would you make?

So many stuff have been dug out of me. It's not by myself, honestly. All credits to Mr Digger.

Now time to work with this newfound treasure.


Picture: magickeys.com

Sem4

Looking back

Perfect launch

Take the turns [focus]

Top speed

Pit stops, not sleeping bunny!

I see the light [at the end]

Don't give up

Earlier this semester I wrote down a few "motivational taglines" to be spaced out in my diary, throughout the semester, for me to reflect upon just when the fuel/power level is going down.

You can probably guess, the first few are inspired by Need for Speed Carbon.

And though things aren't as smooth as I expected when I started out, I'm believing that great things will happen.

Yeah!

Picture credit: img.hexus.net

Which way is it?

A contemplation.

My MARA scholarship to study Medicine in Melbourne.

Is it God's blessing, or just a reward for my effort? Does God have to come into the picture, do I have to attribute it to Him? Can't it happen without His intervention? Or maybe...could it be a combination of both His blessing and my effort?

I applied for MARA instead of JPA.

MARA means: no 10-year contract at home, just a generously discounted payment, and the choice of Melbourne Uni. What about JPA? Apart from the contract, it would probably mean no choice of destination (UK/Ire/Aus/NZ). Here's what happened when I filled in the online form: I put JPA, tried printing it, but the official stamp was not there. I changed to MARA a few days later, and then it printed correctly. If I did not change it (can change it max 3X), it would not have gone through. Again, the question is, was it God or just me? Could any Form 5 leaver have done this without divine guidance?

The vision of triple-H1's (by credit points) came true. So did the double H1's.

It's not exactly how you would predict it; but then again I've realised that God surprises me a lot. In 1st Sem '08, I saw the triple-H1 vision. It came through when I got eighty percent for NDM in 2nd Sem. To complicate matters, during 2nd Sem, I had gotten another vision of double H1's (meaning worth straight 4 H1's for us meds). So the double H1's did not come to pass in 2nd Sem. But guess what my 3rd Sem '09 result was? *Wink* Question: Was it really God who came through to seem as if He's fulfilling what He showed to me? Or did I do it within my human capacity? Now I can't say that I generated the vision on my own. Because, for goodness' sake, I wanted 4 H1's in 2nd Sem, not just 3! But I saw 3! I can't help it, but this is a real testimony for my faith - a miracle.

A Sign

.....

God told me very directly: Don’t treat her any different from your other friends. In my case, that’s the best possible advice. I’ll tell you why: I like her so much, it’s almost as if she’s the only girl that matters to me now. But I don’t know whether she likes me or not. Let’s say she does not. Then the best thing for me to do is obey God and do as He says, so that our friendship does not turn into an awkward experience. But what if she likes me too? Well, thing is, with mutual liking (“we love one another”), is that enough reason to get together? I seriously think that we should only get together if God obviously tells us to. Until then, I’m not treating her any different. There’s one more complication: To be honest, I am having 2nd thoughts. Do I really like her, or is this just infatuation / lust? I better not blindly follow my instincts only to end up breaking her heart and mine (and God’s). Even if I do really like her, I actually ought to set her free on whatever course God has planned for her, instead of being ultra-possessive about her. So in all cases, it goes back to following God’s advice. God, You’re the best!

.....

Say it out

"I'm thankful"

Thankful for the pizza lunch at SWOT today (voluntary tutoring).

Thankful for the conversations with lots of people:

-Alex (5th year med)

-my roommate (DotA)

-Athirah, Adibah & Syaira

-Nielson the carpark guard

-Janice, John & Cassandra

Thankful for friends' birthdays.

Thankful for the energy to keep going for more.

Thankful for the opportunity to actually live out a life like this.

Break week

Enjoy this nice little piece of art:

From: booksummit.com

No classes for the next 9 days

Oh, how good!

What I love about medicine

Wanna know what they are?

The mental challenge, definitely. Memorizing 200+ bones, 600+ muscles, and countless hormones, cytokines and drugs (medicines). And if there's something wrong with the body parts, they change their name immediately. A normal backbone is also called the vertebra - if it gets inflamed, it's called spondylosis; if it gets fractured, that's spondylolysis. To be honest, I got confused and looked this up on Wikipedia just to get it right.

The relationships that you're exposed to is wonderful. At least 300 are in the same year in the course, which means that there are always new things to discover by talking to my fellow coursemates. Everyone's different, e.g. one of my prac buddies performs in a circus over the break next week, and things like these spice up my life.

The learning opportunities are diverse. I've found that textbooks are not the only source of knowledge. Throughout these 3.5 semesters, I've learned a great deal from PBL mates, doctors who teach ICM, and even patients. This morning, Dr Ross told our group about an interesting case of a woman with shoulder pain. Guess what was causing it? An ectopic pregnancy, causing fluid build up beneath her diaphragm, which then stimulated her phrenic nerve, so the pain was referred to her shoulder.

I'll be a bit biased to Melbourne Uni for a while now. I love the 16-hour average weekly contact time. How much freedom! That's the way it's meant to be anyway, because doctors (I think) gotta be very good at managing themselves, whether it's learning, working, socialising, etc.

Can't thank God enough for bringing me here to spend my student days. I'm not exactly sure why I'm here, but I guess it's to see people look to Him and get healed.

And Dinesh, thanks for this photo!

Unload

So many things...
Taking them down from brain to blog.

I called this "my cramming week". We had a few Genetics lectures.


Mon

• Bring food for PBL
• Bring modem for Andrew my customer!
• Paid credit card - 740 dollars
• Cook for housemates

Tue

• Rang 4 people, 2 picked up
• Stalked a friend who was doing her assignment in the Law library
• Folded spring rolls (popia)
• Iftar@Hamzah's place

Wed

• Paid gas - 102.33
• Praise & worship practice@South Lawn
• Rock band practice
• Urban life! =)

Thu

• Wrote some parts of "Devotion", a friend's birthday song
• Chat with Kevin, during Genetics prac
• Dementia talk@Sunderland (first 25min)
• UMIS Iftar@Graduate House
• 24/7 Prayer
  

Fri

• Looked at the CareerFAQ books@Baldwin Spencer
• Chat with Brian (pre-PBL)
• Math Olympics (thanks to Winus)
• Saw Dr Tim (my left tinnitus since 1 week ago) - maybe due to loud music in Camp and Pub Night
• Cheryl's birthday (supposed) surprise

Sat

• Lunch with Stage Props Team (thanks Adrian!)
• Up to today, finished 15 lectures (7.1-5, 8.1-5, 9.1-5)

Next: more cramming, for Monday. Really wanna get H1 this time.

Picture credit: nia.nih.gov

Singing in the Park

Drops of Jupiter

It took me a while to time that camera flash right. Note the surprised facial expression.

Taken during the birthday party for our 4 dear girl friends. We had it just off Lygon Street.

I secretly love the vocals during "One without a permanent scar" (0:02), and "Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day" (0:54).

Thanks to Shafiq Ajmal for suggesting that I sing this song.
Thanks to Syafiq Nassir for the video.

Busy & occupied

Ahh, the life

Reminds me of the times in SM La Salle when I told Dad that I'd "stay back" (after class) in school on most days. It could be sports training, marching practice, some meetings, or just studying with friends.

This week and the next few coming up are just so full of stuff, I can't afford to let my precious seconds drop to the ground uninvested. They must be used to the full.

Tue - Brian's birthday dinner

Wed - rock band practice + sleep research

Fri - band performance, Underground II

Sun - Super Sunday at church!

Mon - my cramming week begins; Careworkers discipleship night

Wed - HP3 tute, UL

Thu - Dementia public lecture

Mon - test day

I wanna see my test score skyrocket. Haha.

What kind of relationship...

...are you in?

e.g.

1x 2hrs/wk
2x 2hrs/wk
3x, 4x, 5x

---Long-form---

That's my shorthand way of asking: How much does your life and his/hers overlap? Take a look at the numbers above again. How much time do you spend together? One of our neuroscience lecturers recently spoke about "The Social Brain" (CSGD 6.2), where he posed the question: What does our big brain do?

Our lecture notes read:

• Social "gossip"
• Maintain families, act in society
• Organise into groups - esp. inter-group trade for mutual advantage

I wanna talk about the 2nd one. I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately, and started asking some questions like, How much time and energy am I willing to spend with her? What about her, how willing is she? What are we going to talk about? I know that we'll basically talk about almost everything, but what are the most important things we are going to share? Because on this side of life, time is not infinite.

I've been observing people in intimate relationships as well; boyfriends and girlfriends, fiancé and fiancée, husband and wife, father and mother. What defines a relationship? It's gotta be more than just what you do on the outside, no? Like, Mom and I held hands - expression of intimacy - as we walked around the park last summer. Guess what, even if we didn't hold hands, we're still mother and child! It's not just the physical act!

Back to me and her. Where are we heading? What is it in me that she brings out to fruition (and also in her), that couldn't be so without either one of us? In essence, what part of me does she complete, and what part of her do I complete?

Symbol Credits: dragonartz.wordpress.com

Obedience

...And you know what?

I'm gonna stop "relying"/"falling back" on my intelligence as my identity (think: smart-ass med student).

My academic performance does not define who I am.

My Creator does.

More, I'm not obsessed any longer about which field to delve into (BioChem, Anatomy, Pathology, Pharmacology, Neuroscience) - which basket to put my eggs in.

It's not all about "striking the lucky numbers" and making instant fame out of it.

Imagine winning the Nobel Prize - instant fame, right?

Instead, I'll just follow what God has put in my heart & head.

My dreams and passions.

Because when I do what He has commanded/"willed" me to do, then that's the biggest thing that I could be doing.

For He desires obedience more than sacrifice.

Budak budak

How awesome is the mind of the child

From a page at the University of California, Berkeley website:

"It is remarkable how much little children know and how much they learn in a short time," said Alison Gopnik, a professor of psychology.

"If you combine the psychological and neurological evidence, it is hard to avoid concluding that babies are just plain smarter than we are, at least if being smart means being able to learn something new."

Don't you agree that sometimes we - "grown-ups" - are too mature in our own sight? Too wise?

Guess what the problem with that is? We don't learn anything new! And to me, that's the worst form of self-punishment possible. Because in effect, I'm telling myself, "This is it. I've reached the end. It's as good as it gets." So my pitiful brain faces an ongoing conflict: The forward-directed curiosity that it's designed with is crippled by the mental lid that I myself put on it.

That's sad. Tula sia inda kisah jadi macam budak-budak, "childlike".

To be thankful for

The blessedness of giving

Two things I'd like to mention

That I'm really thankful for:

1. I got a customer for my broadband modem

2. The researcher contacted me for paid participation

Just when you think

All the finance is being drained out of you

Well, remember the Faithful One

Who never-leaves-nor-forsakes

Oh, how I give you thanks!

Now, I'd like to add that

This didn't come without challenge

A friend asked for help with payment

And my other friends keep asking:

Why on earth give?

Why give all the way to Uganda?
Why give to humanitarian aid?
Why give to Uni Student Appeal?

You know why?

Because there's something to be thankful for

Small things

Big things

All things

Picture credits: sonjatierney.com

Cuci Mata

One of the revision questions for Eye & Vision.

Patient: "I'm always tripping over things with my right foot."


"Probably because you have a lower right homonymous quadrantanopia."

∴There could be a lesion in the left calcarine sulcus, upper bank.

Thanks to Erica Fletcher & Andrew Tan

The Mark

People pick it up (Yes, they do)
Just listened to a brain surgeon telling stories of his journey in his learning and training.


One interesting message that he got across is:
It's more than just what you say. It's what you do.
What's more, it's what you do with passion and commitment.


It might be the few extra hours that you put in every day.


Might be the few extra people/patients that you'd take the time to talk to.


Might be the extra spare that you could have spent on yourself, but chose instead to give to others.


Whatever it is, if you know it, then keep doing it.


Because people pick it up.


The mark of passion, commitment, dedication.

p/s: Just today I feel really thankful to be alive,

for it means to be appreciated for the deeds that

you take the trouble to carry out. For the seed that

you sow.

I've always been fond of teaching, as in, sharing

knowledge with my friends so that they can pick up

things like math, science, etc. And today in Anatomy prac

a fellow student said to me: You're a good tutor.

For my PBL tute feedback, my tutor generally

gave me very positive, encouraging feedback, ("You've

been the best board scribe") and I saw him tick all the

nicest boxes in his checklist.

God, I'm so happy to live, I don't even know how to write it out!